2019 inside story

This is truly once in a year thingy! 😁
Only get to blog almost at the end of the year and try to sum up everything.

But only manage to complete it by today, early January.

Let's start then!

January

Finding out I'm positive, so here came the morning sickness phase - loss appetite, nausea, dizzy and all that related. Instead of gaining weight, I lose them. Phew

Planned since last year but only manage to do it this month. ABC thanksgiving as 3 of us got married last year - me,Kiko and Lison.

JMC Annual Dinner - first time did a short musical drama performance. Haha. First time as well hire MUA but because of that, I missed like half of the dinner. Hmm


February

Entering 2nd trimester and gone all the morning sicknesses. Yeahhhh. Appetite increased a lot. I crave a lot as well - SR chocolate indulgence, travelling and sweet food. Haha

Aneys my Sumandaks has given birth to a baby boy. Visited her at Hospital Tuaran and seeing the surrounding there, I felt like want to deliver there as well. So peaceful.

March

Don't know why but this period, Easter loves to BBQ. Almost every weekend. Perhaps, that is his craving ? Haha

3rd antenatal review. Knowing that I have cyst in me, scares me. If it grows bigger and twisted, I'd be in great pain and that I need to deliver my baby through Caesar.

April

Still with the weekly BBQ. Haha. And one day in advance birthday celebration for Easter. Since he also suddenly crave for cheese cake (which he doesn't eat sweet thing actually).. so this was his birthday cake. Crepe cake from Cafe De Vie.

Took a long weekend AL. Planned to go Kundasang for a short vacation before deliver but no,vacation -ing  at home only.

Easter's accident on Easter night. Thank God he's okay although the car was not.

May

Gracy's dad passed away.

I dropped my Lenovo phone and it broken into pieces, the back one. Luckily, I did save a bit for a new phone. Not huawei, like I wanted to but better than nothing. Right?

Went to Big Bad Wolf. I sooo like it there, seeing the books. But, quite frustrated a bit as I didn't get to see my favourite author.

Simple birthday celebration for Mom.

Mom and Ronn to Philippine. Stay back at home then.

June

It's Raya and I suddenly crave for lemang. Haha, searched the whole Tuaran for it but everyone was off for the celebration. Finally, found it at KKIP. All the lemangs were fully booked but seeing my physical condition, the seller just gave me one. I mean, he sell it to me. 😉

Celebrating Father's day without the Wakau fathers. So, we just went to Odu Muilan and borrowed their father. Haha

A not so surprise baby shower by my colleagues. But still, thank you guys!

July

Slowly shopping for baby stuff as I'm in my 3rd trimester already. Time flies so fast.

Happy + nervous + worried

Still deciding where to deliver - JMC or HWKKS. Hihi.

Final course before on long leave - stroke workshop.

August

Hello Ashley Faith! Born on the 5th at 4.34 am, 2.72 kg.

Thank you Lord. Perhaps another blog for that delivery journey? Hehe

1st wedding anniversary!

August was a great month! Thank you Lord!

September

On going confinement period. Probably because I read too many post by Prof  Imelda, my confinement was not that strict as I've read and heard from people. I just ate whatever I want, wash my hair and not that compliant with the socks wearing.

Full moon Party for Ashley Faith. My first time hiring candy table deco. The perks of having a daughter I guess, I felt like trying this kind of stuff.

30 this year. I may not have everything that I wanted in life but I'm blessed beyond measure.

I think,I need to rethink again - the decision of being a housewife. I don't know why but frankly speaking, I do felt bored during my confinement. Probably because I delivered normal and I heal faster ?

The next day after the full moon party,  I went to church.  The following week, I attended my cousin's wedding.. and once in awhile, went out for laundry.

I upgraded myself; as in I joined Izliyah Kitchen team as agent. New commitment but surely it will be worth it.

Piano SOLD. Deep down, I don't want to. I thought of letting Fay to learn music as well but for now, need to let it go.

October

Back to work and missing Fay badly. I constantly ask mom or Easter to send me her picture.

I thought that I could chill in my first week of work but no. Splint cases, stroke workshop. Phew.


November

Still with my ongoing business. If you asked me,how much do I earn from this.. well, in term of money, not much yet. But, skills - a lot. I learned how to do marketing, approaching people, listening and watching motivational videos, and making a connection.

Biyuk got engaged! Our first time attending such engagement party as it's a mix culture.

Fay's Christening. We are sharing the same godmother, which is Anty B. Thank you Lord

Terry and Azmi's wedding. Finally. As usual, we the sumandaks as her bridesmaid. Fortunately, the tailor managed to do my dress on time but that was after I told her my white lies. Haha

December

Hectic month for me.

Starting off December with ABC gathering.

The next day flew to KL for a day trip. Short hand course. Well, I considered it a day. Flew from KK on Monday evening and back to KK on Tuesday night. Didn't even got a chance to window shopping. Haha

Back from KL, the following day in charge of JMC Christmas Party. Being the organizer, you didn't even get to eat the food buffet. By the time you want to go and eat, all gone. Taapun.

Thankfully, big boss belanjalah! Hehe

Month with full of gatherings and gift exchange.

Sumandak and Ekon gathering first time held outdoor. It was awesome.

JMC and last minute plan of UKM gathering at Upperstar Damai.I  finally got my hand mixer after putting it in my wishlist consecutively for  2 years. Hehe

Fay's first Christmas and she got a lot of present. I wish I can be kid again so that I got that gifts. Haha. Thanks to you, Fay has sufficient supply of #OOTD to wear.

Ranau for Pidil's wedding despite some issue behind it.

This year, I took a Christmas + new year leave. Got to spend my time with Fay and let her grandma take leave as well. Haha

New year eve celebration - biasher2 saja. Small last minute gathering with loved ones and got to see people's fireworks. Tumpang sekaki la katakan. Hahaha.


To sum up 2019.

I'm grateful being surrounded by supportive, caring and kind people.

Still with my job and financial issue but hopefully 2020 would be better.

2018 inside story

I last blogged on my September's birthday and now, few more days before 2019.

Blame the newly married status (I guess. Haha!) that makes forget about this inside story of mine. But, worry not. I shall do a monthly quick recap for this 2018.

January  

Entering 2018 with no new year resolution since I've always failed to achieve it. Haha. 

But starting this month, I enrolled myself into this BTP - Body Transformation Program lasting for 5 weeks. I consider it as something that out of my comfort zone because during that 5 weeks duration, I need to be in control of my diet and exercise routine; in order for me to not simply give away my RM5 if I were to gain fat. 

Stepping on Gear 2 for the wedding preparation - choosing caterers, deco, theme. 

A sudden interest in applying for Interim. Haha

Losing baby Divine.

February

I decided to continue with BTP. It makes me feel great about myself. I got to make new friends, learnt new exercise routine and most importantly, challenged myself to reduce sugar intake in my everyday diet.

Done with my pre wedding photo shoot. It was tiring but I really enjoyed it; initially, was a bit shy to pose romantically in public but we need too then. Haha.

Done with marriage interview as well. I was so damn nervous but thankfully,it was so okay!  Wedding date is confirmed then!

My second time going for PERKESO interview but for a different position. I was quite shocked to see so many candidates went for this interview - 100++. Group interview was done according to alphabetical order. And being me, I bet you could guess when was my turn. Came 7.30am in the morning and only get to be interviewed at 6.30pm in the evening. Phew.

March

Final month for BTP. Decided to stop for a while - couldn't stand the anxiety attack every Friday (because that's the weigh in day! Haha)

Starting off Sumandak's wedding for this year was Zalia. Hehe. As usual, we' re on duty as bridesmaid.

April

Wedding preparation on going - surveying and buying bridesmaid attire, flowers, meet up with wedding planner.

Heroes Run. Joined just for fun and yeah, it was fun. Hehe

Next Sumandak's wedding- Aneys!

May

Malaysia's 14th General Election - a whole new page for Malaysia. For the first time ever, after 60 years - new government are formed.

1 year anniversary of being engaged and 3 months away before the wedding!

Wedding preparation on going - 70%

June

Missed blogging my inside story on June. Blame it on the busy - ness of getting married. Haha

I went to SPA interview, hoping that I would get in this time.But still. Huhu

Kuching Trip during Raya holidays. I assume it as a bridal shower kind of event. Haha. It was a spontaneous radu trip.

July

1 month to go before my big day. Awww!

This month was more about final meet up with vendor. Me feeling stress? Hmm. Not really, I guess. Haha.

110718 - legally married!

Kiko' s wedding 2 weeks prior to mine.

I was having issue with my leave for the wedding. Admin wouldn't let me go if I couldn't find locum OT.

This part - it did make me feel upset. I couldn't plan for any honeymoon activity. And fiance on that time was not that keen to go away using planes. Phew.

August

110818 - I'm officially married to Easter! Thank you Lord. No wedding is perfect but let bygones be bygones then.

I got my 1 week leave post wedding. A bit too late already to buy air tickets. So, we decided to just do road trip. Ranau to Kudat.

September

Favourite month aka birthday month! And as usual, with lots of public holiday.

Went to Ranau twice this month, to visit Anty Lucy and ABC annual getaway.

Birthday dinner at pizza and I got a watch!

Another job interview, which I didn't expect that I would be called for it.

October

I got the job, was hesitating. I asked around and did my pros and cons for both company. I made up my mind and plan to resign even though I felt so heavy-hearted.

But, miracle happened I guess. I stayed and turned down the job offer. Hihi

November

Sudden desire to join baking class, with Ronn. We really enjoyed it but up till now, we still haven't try it at home.

Another sudden move - attending OT Zura classroom. The course was very helpful and beneficial to me.

KAS gathering. Great!

December

Final chapter of 2018 and my weekend was fully occupied.

2 Sumandaks wedding, Fenny and Neavi with just 1 week gap. Honestly, my initial plan was to only go to 1 wedding (annual leave issue). 

At last, I managed to go both! And I don't regret it.

Gathering and gathering - Sumandaks, Ekon Family.

I found out I'm positive! Thank you Lord. Still in shock and I didn't expect it. Haha. I went for my first Dr visit and yeah, he confirmed it. Hihi. Because I suddenly have this feelings like, "what if, the test was wrong?" Haha. Journey shall start now.

Christmas this year, I'm glad that I'm able  to attend mass with le husband. Both mass. Hehe

It is the last day of 2018 today, and I'm inside story-ing  this at work. Just like previous years, I'm working on this day. I'm still not sure what my plan are tonight, but I will surely slot in the sleeping part. Haha

So, yeah. Off for now!

Final 20s

UPSR season now, and  it reminded me of something during my time.

Exam seat was arranged in alphabetical order. So, you can guess how it was for me. Being almost at the end of the alphabets, I was put on the other class - separated from my bff on that time.

(Back then,we didn't have hall in the school. Exams was done in classroom that could only accommodate about 25-30 people and my class on that time had 45-50 students)

I was upset and slightly angry to my parents, on why they name me W. Haha! One of those silly reasons to get mad at your parents, kan?

Fast forward today,I realized it is more fun being at the end of the alphabets. Like,when I need to check my name in a list - I directly flip over to the last page and voila! I found my name. Easy.Hehe

Thank you Lord. I'm grateful indeed to have them as my parents and I thanked them for raising me up to what I am today.

********

I reread all the things that I shared in this inside story of mine - on this particular date. I can see myself growing and progressing from a so-called-teenager-minded into a grown up woman. Hope so.#fingerscrossedw

I seem to be wishing the same old thing annualy - to be a better me.

But this one caught me, 2015's wishlist. I did found what my life calling is  ; because this year, birthday is celebrated with my other half. Yeah!

Thank you Lord! You are awesome!

Less procrastinate. More time with God, loved ones and me.

Throwback #4

Hello September! As always, my favourite month.

Recently, my FB newsfeed and Whatsapp status was full with pictures and stories about new students intake, registration, welcoming students and  tips during orientation week.

So, upon seeing this - I automatically had flashbacks of how my early days in Uni.

UKM was my first choice of university but Occupational Therapy OT (my course)  was not. It was my 6th option among the 8.

Obviously, you could guess how I felt deep inside back then when I got this course.
("Huh, kos apaini?" ... " nanti habis mo kerja apa?".." kenapa saya x dapat  farmasi"..." saya jauh suda dari ruma"..." ada ka kawan saya nanti?") 

And the list goes on..

Upon receiving the letter and 80% still in denial, me and my mom went to the nearest cybercafe and tried to search more info about this course in UKM site. Sadly, on that time the information given was so general and not helpful at all ; leaving me more stressful. But the funny thing was, it didn't come up to me,to try and Google or Yahoo it.  Buduh juga la bila ingat balik sekarang. Haha!

The registration day.

My parents sent me off. I was indeed grateful as they were willing to come eventhough it was a last minute one.

Registration process was all okay. I managed to get through it even though deep inside  I felt so bad, ugly. The hardest part was saying goodbye to my parents. Saya tenangis juga la skit walaupun suda berabis tahan. Sakit dada eh. Mau cuba la  ba kunun trip2 ok, tapi x juga. 

Orientation week

The first few days was not ok, it was hell,  buruk betul rasa dia. I cried almost every night to sleep which I bet my roommate heard it (hehe!), I was tired and I still haven't found any Sabahan friend. I mean, yang ada kawan mau becakap sabah gitu. X la rasa alone sangat.

Nearing the end of orientation, I found my Borneo friends. I felt much better although I'm still tired from all the berlari berdua-dua going to the bus, duduk bertiga dalam bas, talks and talks, finishing late at night but waking up early.

Well, I could say that my orientation week was not something that I would happily remember although some of it, was enjoyable and I did have fun. But, yeah. Not all.

I do have a lot more to share but I'll stop for now. Hehe.

I don't regret getting into UKM, in fact, I'm proud to be one of the graduates.

So, for the new intakes - all the best!

#ukmdihatiku

110818

180818 - " Cantik ni haribulan. Kita kawin time ni la." 

That was last year, when we were picking date for the wedding.

And yeah, that 180818 was indeed a hot date. So many people get married, engaged and I guess gave birth as well? I mean purposely gave birth on that particular date. Hoping that you'll get what I meant by purposely. Haha

Well as for me, us - we decided that we'd take another date. That is 110818. So, I've been married for almost 2 weeks now. Thank God, with months of planning and surveying - all was sum up in just a day.

Surely, us girls or women would have our own dream wedding.

So, my last 2 weeks wedding was about 90% of my dream wedding. Of course, there were some issues but let bygones be bygones then.

Selamat kawin suda juga pun. Hehe

I thanked You Lord Jesus.  For your blessings and guidance.
Family and friends for the love and support on us both.
And everyone for making  110818 a memorable one.

Cheers to a new journey ahead!

Have you?

Have you?

I saw this on FB early this year. Saved it with the thought in mind that, I would blog it.

And here  I am, it's July already. Seems like I still procrastinate.

****** 

It's probably because how I was raised ( I think so), I'm not that type of person who will eagerly try new things especially when it's risky and prefer to be in my own nest - comfort zone.

So, when I saw this statement - it kind of spark a little bit of my curiosity + willingness to try out things that I've never think of before.

Apply for that job

I have on and off issue with my job. Still is now, but tone down a bit as I'm more focused on the wedding. Hehe. Although I really wanted a new job,  whether OT related or not -  I still can't get myself to really go and seek for it. I was like, "Ok,tiapa. Nantilah." I tend to complain but never really have the effort to change it.  Phew

So this year. I applied for the job that I wanted and have been waiting for quite some time. When I was asked, are you willing to be posted to places outside Sabah - I said yes!

Date that person

I didn't just date that person, I married him (civil) and in few weeks time for the church blessings. Hehe. That person as in someone that I have never imagined I would be with. Why?  Because he is the opposite of all the things that I would've always want in a guy.

I am indeed grateful to have known him and be part of him.

Buy that plane ticket

I would love to travel but my bank account doesn't allow me to. Haha. I guess, I was lucky enough this year that suddenly Anty B bought tickets to Kuching on Raya holidays. So, I get to save up for the trip. And yeah, the trip was great - we did things that scare us. 

Move to that city

Not really fond of this one. I've lived few years away from my loved ones and I hope that I would never got to do this again.

#fingerscrossed

****

Well,there are more than these 4 things. For me, I still have a lot more that I'm scared of but I need to confront it somehow. We are not a tree, so let's move and be a better version of ourself. It will be worth it.

Yes or No ?

Earlier this week, I got a text from someone saying :

"Shallom sis. Bole tolong jadi pemazmur untuk anak saya kawin 2hb ni?"

Deep inside:

"Bole. Bole sangat. Bole jadi pemazmur".

Sadly, I didn't get to reply that. Instead :

"Nanti saya kasi confirm balik ar. X sure dapat cuti ka x.

The next day after asking my boss about it, and this was my response :

" Sorry anty. Saya tidak dapat jadi pemazmur. Saya tidak dapat cuti"

Phew.

This may look like a simple situations in our daily life but being me, this is quite difficult. Why being me ? Because, it's hard for me to say NO. I don't want to turn them down.

Like Aunty B would say - slave of affection. Tidak mau kasi sakit hati orang lain.

Here in JMC, staffs need to apply leave 2 weeks prior to the date; except for emergency cases. But I did try asking my boss, just in case if I still can. Unfortunately, nope. Plus, I don't have that much leave left for my wedding.

With heavy heart, I need to say no. The after effect - I felt guilty.

I bet we all have been through situation that makes us feel torn or caught in between. But, in the end we need to decide what's best even though it may affect us.

Taken from my Tumblr acc. 

20 cent #3 - 14th General Election

5 years gone by and this year was my second time voting in Malaysia's general election, #GE14.

That 5 years ago #GE13, this politics stuff was not my main  concern. In short, I don't care. It has nothing to do with me. But still, I voted. Mainly because my father was one of the candidates running for the DUN seat; and of course,being a first-timer. Excited-lah konon.

Along that 5 years, I took no interest as well with my surroundings. I live life like the usual, merely complaining about stress at works, traffic jam that I need to go through everyday,  and how I wish to get away from my routine . When mostly  people complained about how GST's and the petrol price affect their life, I remained silent. Bukan juga anak urang kaya ba, tapi  I have what I need-lah. 

I get excited waiting for BR1M every year, except for this year - I don't get it and I don't know why. Deblang sedang diproses. Duh! Tiapa juga tu. X penting. Hihi.
I managed to renew my driving licence and passport without taking leave. Thanks to UTC.

Nearing to the end of this 5 years term, Malaysian has been voicing out the need for government change. Deep inside, I could feel that, #GE14 will set the change.

And this time, I am so keen to vote and fulfill my duty. Not because of the previous reason, but I felt like it's my rights and  I wanted a better future.

Blogging this today - 3 days post #GE14, it is truly a brand new Malaysia. New government. The people have spoken - among the famous line on social media now. This is indeed a great history - new government after 60 years and Tun M as the Prime Minister again.

Congratulations! Hope for a better change.

In Sabah itself, political drama arise and it has been going on for almost 3 days. I have never been so eager, constantly checking my FB and whatsapp for the latest info. Cuti juga kan.Haha!

Being me, I don't comment publicly on the politic's updates posted in FB.Sticking to this. Although I do have my personal opinion and would only share it with people that I trust.
Yalah, inda lah ba juga tiba-tiba mau becerita pasal politik sama orang yang x dikenali di bustop kan. Hehe

It is sad to see how some comments are rude, irrational and childish. Personally, this is what I called abusing the freedom of speech. Keyboard warrior gitu. Semua mau trip hero ba. 

Hmm.

I hope that Sabah get to settle this drama asap.

In the name of the Lord, Amen.

Throwback #3

Facebook memories always bring back the unexpected events happened years ago.

Another one today. 7 years ago.

I remembered feeling worried to the max. Feeling helpless. 

And all I can do on that time, pray and hope that everything will be fine.

Fast forward today, that someone has just double tap on my recent insta photo. Prayers answered back then. Thank you Lord!

What's next??

The other day, I was having my late lunch with mom and le bro. So, we were chit chatting over ngau chap ( eheheh yummy!) and of course wedding topic is a must.

So, le bro was asking me..
" apa la jadi lepas ko kawin??"

Didn't take long for me to answer him..
" saya x tau oh. X sure."

Mom didn't want to be left behind, was responding with..
" dia beranaklah"

Le bro was like, " ko pikir semua orang begitu ka? "

Mom was stunned for a while. Poor mom.

Recently, I saw  FB post from Dr Imelda Bachin. She's the O & G specialist. She shared her experience of a couple who was trying hard to conceive, tried every possible way as they have been wanting a child for so long and of course, the surrounding that has been so 'caring' by frequently asking - " bila nak dapat anak?"
Long story short, the couple did have a baby but the mother died shortly after the delivery due to complications.

Back to me. I  would like to have my own children someday; would be great then if I get pregnant after the wedding. Hehe.

But, that is something that I'm not sure of.

As for now, it feels like - I can just play dumb with the society's expectation. Hopefully when the time comes, I'll act the same.

So, two things here :

Firstly, being the society.  I believe it is within the Asian culture, asking these type of questions (if you know what I mean). Starting today, why not ask other question. Or, don't ask anything at all if you're clueless. Now that when I meet up with old friends, I tried not to come up with sensitive questions.

Secondly, being the person who's being asked. Not mentioning the married couple only, because I was asked "bila mo kawin"? back then. The same category of question. Let's try to ignore them and live life as happier as we can be.

Life's achievement is not measured by your marital status, how many children you have or how many property you own.

So, what's next ? I'll just follow the flow then!

Trust in the Lord. Amen

March, March and March!

2 chapters over for 2018.  Way too fast, aite?

So.. what have we done, I mean specifically me for the past 2 months? And especially now, it's Lent season.

For wedding part, ya. Few important things were settled.

For myself, still a bit loss. Like,should I try job hunting again or readapt myself with the current situation. Or maybe should I go something out of my comfort zone. Phew. God, it is hard being an adult.

Last year, I was hoping and expecting that this 2018 would bring me something new. But, after my tiring interview last month - I somehow gave up.

But, worry not. March has just march in. So, let's just enjoy today and the rest of the month!


Have a blessed March people!

February excitement

Another productive month for me. Well, I guess it's going to be like that till the wedding. Eh, wedding ?? Oops. Hehe

Just like any other women, I'm excited to the max for the preparation.

Not mainly about wedding, I had other stuffs going on as well. Like going for a job interview, still with the exercise + healthy eating thingy and etc. Haha.

Now that I'm done with my marriage interview and pre wedding shoot, what's next ?

* I was Google - ing a wedding checklist and mostly it is based on a western culture. The closest I get is a malaysian Chinese checklist. Not bad. Buli la. Maybe I should do one - a dusun Catholic wedding checklist. Kann??*

Sneek peek of my prewed photoshoot yesterday. Hihi

Positive vibes

Bye January. Sadly, I didn't get to blog much although a lot of things happened. Aigoo.

Well actually, starting off 2018 - January was actually quite a productive month.

I've enrolled myself in this Body Transformation Program for a month, should end by this 11th. But I decided to continue for another month. 

Why?

Because it brings out the positive vibes in me. 

So, I look forward to more for this February!

Chapter 1, 2018

Hello 2018!

Not really into new year resolution, because I always failed on achieving it.

So, I'll hope for the best on this new year.

Bring it on 2018!

2017 inside stories

2017 has come to it's final chapter. In few days time, we'll be saying hello to 2018.

Nearing to the end of 2017,  I wonder to myself - what have I done along this year? Have I tried to improve myself,  is there any achievement that I got, what have I done wrong and etc.

Not over thinking but self reflection. I think I didn't set any new year's resolution early this year (I think so), so there's no need to check on that. Kan?

2017. I don't get to blog much this year. But, I made my effort though.

January

Entering new year with a new relationship status. In the movies, the guy would go down on his knee and propose to you. Fancy dinner and a bouquet of flower. Well in my case, it wasn't like that. It's merely a simple conversation that we had in a car and the question pop out. So, this month was more about visiting and getting to know each other family.

On a different note, for the first time ever - I won an oven! Grand prize during JMC annual dinner. Weehuu!

February

Something unexpected event happened here. All this time, I thought that it will never happen till the time come. Emotionally after the event, I was feeling miserable.

Happy events - Sumandaks Aneys got engaged! I myself, kena risik. Hehe. In which, I was ask to hide somewhere during the process. Haha

March

Penang trip with Wakau Clans; everyone were still here. I'm the so called main character during this trip and there were some issue needs to be settled. Thank God it went well, and I'm indeed grateful that Anty Sigu made it to the trip.

I had a challenging task this month,being an OT. I was referred a dynamic splint, which is something I never done before. Honestly speaking, I don't know how to do at all. Got scolded by the specialist up to the point where he questioned my qualification. Thank God for the guidance and assistance from my OT friend, I was able to fabricate that splint. Phew

April

I passed my BLS course. Wow!

We had a last minute plan - Wakau's short trip to Kundasang & Ranau. The place we stayed was big enough as there were at least 20 of us.

Another trip to island. This time around, in Pulau Pandan Pandan KB with my colleagues. Sunburn!

May

I got engaged! Zal got engaged as well, the day after. Haha. We didn't plan it on purpose.

June

Another Sumandaks got engaged, Fenny! A week after me and Zal's.  The month that I need to fully utilized my owing hours because after this, no more. Phew.

In my  June edition - I felt burn out with my routines. I'm aware of this term as I learnt that back in uni. Back then, I felt weird why would someone be burn out with their work. Now that it hits me, it's not to get rid of it.



July

I started doing baby steps preparation for the wedding next year.  We went to Bridal Fair and asked about the packages. Not cheap I could say. 

Uncle Madius got admitted to ICU. His condition was quite critical at that time and he needs to go for surgery.

Another last minute plan. UKM Borneo Gang reunion at Rachel's house. It went well. I would love to stay longer but I can't.

August

It was raining heavily few days of this month and it was flooding in Wakau. I was home on that time.

Church friend from KL came to visit Sabah and I became the unofficial tourist guide. Haha

September

My favourite month and this year, with lots of public holiday. 

My second climb,  post earthquake. 
Losing Uncle Madius. 
My dessert 28th birthday! Day spent well. Hehe

October

Another item in the wedding checklist - checked! That was, attending a 3 days pre-wedding course. 

Cik Casey came to visit with her little family. Initial plan was to join her in Kundasang, but the date clashed with the course. But, managed to catch up for dinner.

Bad weather + heavy rain. Flooding again. No electricity, no telephone line.

Anty Sigh admitted to HDW. 

November

The unexpected news. 

December

Final chapter.

Annually Ekon's gathering, this year in Tungku, Lahad Datu. I was not planning to go at first since I only have 1 AL left but my parents insist. Just so that I can join them, we went there early Saturday morning, at 4 am and arrived there at 1pm. It was a bumpy ride, I vomited a lot of times. Miscommunication occurred about the homestay direction, dad got so mad that we went back wakau on the same day. Phew

Last minute idea on doing DIY fireplace christmas deco at home,inspired  by the deco here in JMC.

Joined carolling here at Metro Town for the first time. It was tiring but I enjoyed it.

Sumandaks annual gathering. I got a sandal from Rai!

Wakau Christmas gathering. I got a shirt from Aunty Tuna!

Attending bridal shower for the first time. I am the only one wearing a not so according to that theme that night, which is black and white. I wore white but with colors at the front. Haha


2017 - you bring lots of memories,mostly being as a first timer in certain stuff. I had my faith challenged  a lot this year and it did frustrates me. But all in all, I'm deeply grateful for the experiences I gained; may it be positive or negative.


2018 - I have plans for you and I look forward to make it happen, with God's willing. Amen.


P/S : 2017 inside stories is in multicolored font. Haha. Sorry but let it be then.

Throwback #2

Facebook memories 6 years ago

Another memories pop up from Facebook.

2011 - senior years in UKM. I was busy with clinical postings, case studies and presentations, thesis writing. A lot to deal with back then. Mimang stress gila ni musim. Phew

I did share about it here. Hehe

It feels funny to read back what I've shared on that time.  I was like, "Astaga! Begini ka pula saya dulu?", " Saya ka yang tulis ni?"

A bit childish, I would say. Haha. But, yeah. That was me and I now agree to the statement that people do change. Positive and better change lah kan.

I mentioned about a Dr in that inside story and guess what? We are working in the same place now. Haha. What a small world! That Dr remembers me. He refers patient to us, Rehab Team.

Ok,enough with that.

Main point is,  nothing is impossible when you believe in God. I'm not simply saying this but I've experienced it myself. Hold on to Him even when it feels like a dead end. Have faith.

When Should I Quit My Job?

What should I write for today? I'm done with my patients for the morning and lunch break is like 2 hours away. Phew. Let me think....

Oh ok, got it. I've watched this video few months ago, shared it on FB as well.

This is a video by Peng Joon - When Should I Quit My Job?

Learn and grow, and you paycheck will grow. Really?

From this video:

Always place growth first and the paycheck second, only if you have the time.

Before leaving the company,ask yourself. Is this company challenging you? Are they constantly taking you outside of your comfort zone so that you can improve?

So, for me - since I've been feeling demotivated with my job recently, let me just do a quick assessment on myself.

My job, has been challenging me,taking me out of my comfort zone but not constantly. Previous post, I mentioned about how I got burn out with the routines. Good news is now, I tried to break it, changing it once in a while.

And, I've been telling myself - good things will come to those who wait patiently and be grateful.

When should I quit? Actually, it is time.  But,I have bills to pay. Quitting just like that is not a smart move. So, I'll wait.

If  you don't like where you are right now, just move. You're not a tree. Yes, I'm not one. Haha

Anty Sigu.

When I was a kid..
"Anty, buli ka tulis nama pakai huruf kecil?"
..... "Amu buli. Ngaran nopo nga mesti pakai huruf besar."

After mass brunch conversation..
"Nak, moi yato akan hilo Luyang la. Ih haro steambot b*bi."
......" Ba,buli bo. Hujung bulan la Anty. Gaji po. Hehe."

Last Monday as I dropped her to school..
"Nak, haro RM 100 nu ka? Poloso oku po da. Amu ku nakasampat minoi atm konihab. Saya mau  belanja tu budak sekolah."
......."Haro bo. Dapo kio."


And I never thought that Monday was my last conversation with you.

You have always been a good listener and very supportive in what ever things that I've shared with you. All these years, you have been fighting with your sickness, never even once showing us how weak you've felt inside.

I am still in shock. I'm writing these in tears. God loves you more and you are now in good hands.

Rest in peace Anty Sigu. I love you . You'll forever be missed.

Disappointment

I was in the church whatsapp group. So, somebody posted about that particular day readings and reflection. These words caught my eyes.

"Kalau kekecewaan kita kerana kita merasa dan sedar bahawa sikap dan perilaku kita tidak sesuai dengan apa yang diharapkan Allah, kita harus berjuang terus untuk memperbaiki diri kita. Kita harus kembali kepada Tuhan kerana Tuhan sendirilah yang mampu menguatkan kita untuk sampai kepada akhir perjuangan dan perjalanan hidup kita."

Translation:

If our disappointments is because we felt like our actions do not match with what God wants, we should fight to be a better version of our self.  We should come back to God because only He can strengthen us till the end of our life journey.

Sorry for the direct translation. Not that expert 'though.

Firstly, I'm not that religious or holier. Attending mass every Sunday doesn't make me one but I do accept Jesus as my savior; and this tiny faith of mine had kept me going for years.

I believe that each of us, I mean being Christian - we do face challenges in our faith, and it comes in different form.

 And,  this is the most faith- challenging year for me.

Honestly speaking, I've been disappointed with myself lately. I'm aware, that as human we'll sinned. We tried hard not to repeat the same mistake but yeah, it is not that easy as ABC. I know this is not right, but sometimes, I do wonder if God has really forgiven me or will He forgive me again if I kept on doing the same thing over and over.

Have mercy on me Lord. Amen

P/S: I tried writing this entry in Malay but to fail attempt. Conversing and writing is two different things ; Malay writing is not that easy but I'm not that expert in English as well. But it felt more humane and normal when expressing your inside stories in English. Haha! #siscubatau

Blessed beyond measure!

#happybuttons

I'm not lucky, you don't know how much I've prayed. 

Well, I second that. For what I am, and what I've been today, there will always be that inside story. 

Officially 28 and yes, my birthday spent well. 

Years before, I love the idea of  given something that I really want on my birthday - dress, airtime reload, mobile phone, cash money and etc. 

Now that I think of it (I need to, now as we have this birthday exchange gift) - I am clueless! I don't even have a wishlist. 

I guess, it's no longer about the material gift. I'm grateful and blessed beyond measure to be surrounded with good and genuine people - mainly my VIPs.

Presence, attention and time worth more than an Iphone. But, having presence + attention + time + Iphone at the same time - why not! Hehe