Monday, February 28, 2011

my dear magic clown didn't work! =(

clown = badut.

anyone who reads this, i hope u didn't have a coulrophobia aka fear of  clown.

my dear friends, have you ever have a good look on a clown? perhaps a close one.. 

i'm 201% sure that you have never did one!... well, long story short.. rarely, we see a clown showing their real faces, i mean the expression and of course the attitudes when they are already in their most attractive and yet colorful attire when they are entertaining the audience..

the clown's face is 'fully- occupied' with make-ups and attractive color that makes them look funnier and happier.

okeh! kc clear minda dan pikiran kalian.. ambil masa sejenak untuk berfikir.. 

what lies beneath the colorful and attractive make-ups that the clown has on their face???
aaahh.. should be great if what lies beneath is the same with what is being shown.. but then.. what if.. it turns the other way round?? it must have been hell for the mr.clown to put such an act just to entertain other people ; ignoring the pain  he felt inside.. duh! so sad~!

after a few incidents, i found out that i am a clown myself.. pretending to be happy on the outside but feels like hell on the inside.. i used to keep all those unhappy thoughts of mine to myself.. and yah! it's exhausting actually.. but still, being a clown is good actually.. you'll learn to think positive, makes yourself much stronger to face the world each day and you'll be expert in handling your personal life not to be mixed with the other stuff going on..

this clown thing was one of my expertise actually but recently... my magic clown didn't work.. OMG!.. i' ve been through the most hardest and horrible week last week and i'm extremely grateful especially to  God that i managed to survive those hell of a week..

let me put it in a most easy way so that you guys can understand why my magic clown didn't work well this time ..

1- suddenly, my 3 years plus2 lappy rosak.. i sent her for repair which i need to pay for about rm350 just to know that actually, there's nothing can be done.. cam total permanent damage pla.. huhu*.. mestilah sy rs stress gila.. suda la time posting yg mmg sgt memerlukan lappy.. thanx God sy ada kwn2 yg sgt baik hati dan sudi meminjamkn sy lappy mrk.. dan terima kasih family  d sabah yg sudi tlg kc kirim notebook kpd sy d cni..

2- since sy mmg nervous psl ni posting.. kn tmbh2 lgi psl tu lappy.. sy pn demam terpendam..yg badan panas, sakit2 joint suma.. pening2, xda selera mkn.. rasa noxious almost all the time.. naik lg bintik2 merah  di badan that  i thought i was having a denggi fever..palis2.. thx God.. sy x ada tu barang.. nsb baik yg ari 3 or 4 sy sihat sda.. tp selera mkn mc bidah la..

3- stress and susa ati sbb smpi ari khamis blum dpt case stdy.. sbb dalam pikiran mesti mo amik kes baru.. skali lepas jpa supervisor and she explained everything.. sy rs sy sgt lembab and bikin panas sbb sy sda buang masa selama 3 hari sedangkan dlm masa 3 hari tu sda byk case2 yg menarik yg sy kc lepas bgt shj.. nsb ari 5 tu.. dtg lg tu patient.smpt la sy bt mn2 yg ptt..

4- risau sbb duit scholarship semakin kurang gara2 buat lappy yg xda hasil pn.. tp mc lg mo berbelanja x mengira limit.. cthnya pigi tgk terima kasih cinta d istana budaya sma pigi diner d kajang.. tp lepas pigi ni event dua2, sy tidak menyesal pn buang duit sbb both this event mmg worth it la..

5- ds week, sy kn posting cni main dept.. which specialize in burn and surgical cases yg memerlukan kebolehan menjahit menggunakan mesin jahit.. ni pn bt sy stress n takut jg sbb sy sgt lemah dlm skill ini.. tp sy cuba utk berfiiran +ve n Thanx God,.. sy sda berjaya melalui satu hari d situ dgn baik wpn byk adegan blur2 sy yg dipamerkan sbb sy lowong2 satu org ja kna d sna ds week..

6- sy mesti kn kc siap slide presentation sy by this week sbb dis wikend sy pigi johor utk berbuat amal..ahah! x la.. utk subjek HM.. sbb next wik dia presentation sda.. jd msti mo kc siap awl skit sbb mo kc tgk supervisor lg.. bru la ready2 mo kna timbak time exact day mo present kn..

okeh!cukup untuk entri kali ini..
* my dear course mate, chaiyo2!*

Sunday, February 13, 2011

singing my heart out. ^^

Life has been amazingly great so far.. ^^ (* Thank you, dear Lord!*) 

Less than a week, I'll begin another episode of clinical posting, as one of the most crucial component being an occupational therapy student.This time, I'll be doing a  second round of  OT in orthopedic and surgery (3 weeks) and exposure to OT pediatrics (2 weeks).I'm glad that this time I got HKL..  (jalan kaki seja I .. yuuu!~) 

As usual, I need to prepare myself for this upcoming posting with all the related knowledge.. *tau2 seja la.. otak sda sgt berkarat,. nnt bikin malu saja klu pgg goniometer pn tebalik.. hesh2~*.. previously, I've mentioned that I had allocated the holidays time for my revision season but another thing come up.. so, what to do.. =(.. but, no worries.. there are still  a few more days left..  I guess, I have to burn midnight oil just to finish all those chapters then.. (*burn midnight oil?? erk~!? I guess.. I won't be able to do that as I've been sleeping most of the time recently -still have no idea what is the main reasons behind those sleepy head of mine.. huh!*)

*chaiyo2 winnie!~*

Oh! I almost forgot.. SAYA LULUS DROP-OFF!!.. OMG!.. sukar untuk dipercayai.. all the practices I 've made has been worth it.. (* Thanks once again, dear Lord!*).. Just my luck.. the route that I had during this drop-off test, is the one that I used to practice.. but nevertheless, I tried to be alert all the time and used all the other senses to detect where have they dropped me.. (Drop Off : you'll be blind-folded and dropped somewhere. Then, you need to find the way back to the objective given.)

*Moral of the story is, appreciate your senses. Don't take them for granted.*

We've been learning this new assessment for peads..Test of Handwriting Skills (THS).. It was fun.. I really enjoyed it.. It inspired me to do my thesis on this particular area for next year.. huh! will I be able to do that??.. I hope so.. I begin to show some interest in peads area.. I really hope that my so - called -excitements will not be ruined once I entered the real world of OT peads.. *Amen*..

oh! it's  the 13th of February today.. and tomorrow will be 14th of February..  this will be the second year I'm  officially SINGLE during this Valentine's Day.. but, being single on Valentine's  Day, totally not a big concern to be worried about.. In my opinion, it is not a day that you have to be specifically celebrating them with your special bf or gf.. but actually, you can celebrate them with anyone you want to.. be it your family or you friends.. they are still your loved ones, right??.. so, for the single ladies out there.. and of course for the men, spare your tears, sadness and loneliness on this wonderful day..  go find some more interesting things to do out there.. plus, it's a public holiday the next day.. so.. come on!!.. let us all sing our heart out.! (*mentang2 la bru ja pigi ber K-Box td kn.. hmm!~*)

But then, deep inside,, there were days that I missed being the gf of somebody and having bf next to me..but, past is past and those were stories and pictures that needs to be deleted from my memory frame.. 
*Good job, Winnie!!*

*Dear Lord, I pray that each and everyone of us will be given our special blessings on this Valentine's Day. May we find love, peace and hope that we have been searching for and that we do not misuse nor misunderstood the real meaning of this Valentine's Day. Amen *

Have a wonderful day everyone!~

Sunday, February 6, 2011

the unexpected event

Weeks before the holiday started, I had planned on studying and revising ortho and peads subject. But then, I only managed to study a few of the notes I've taken out ( not even half of 'em) as I was so addicted on watching the korean series my friend gave to me - My Girlfriend is a Nine Tail Fox.. If I'm not watching, I went out with the borneo gangs.. *see.. mana lagi masa mo belajar klu itu mcm kn..~ hmm*

Early morning, about 8 or 9 am on the 3rd of Feb 2011, I was calling my mum but I couldn't reached her.. then, I tried calling my brother.. ok.. finally! she was busy helping my grandfather eating his breakfast - and that's why she couldn't hear the phone ringing.. I was calling to tell her that I'm going out to One Utama.. having fun..

One of my so-called weakness is that, I don't really like putting my hand phones in my pocket..*feared that someone might pick it - yang saya tidak sedar kunu*.. I prefer to put them in the bag I'm carrying and since I'm a little bit of another so - called- 'bosukan' ( x dengar).. so.. I barely hear any phone ringing or a message coming tone.. (duh! what a pity)..

It was about 11 something in the morning.. and I was on the bus stop with my friends waiting for the bus.. I checked my phone and saw like tons of missed call from my brother and mummy.. (both phones).. I called back and asked why.. what's the matter.. 

I was shocked upon hearing the news that my grandfather passed away on that very moment..a total shocked.. because early in the morning he was eating his breakfast.. saya jadi bingung + confuse  sebentar.. seriously, I was blank.. and I felt extremely sleepy all of the sudden.. ( this what happens when I feel sad/bad mood )

After a state of blank for few hours, thank God I managed to buy airplane tickets on the very same day.. I reached home around 10 that night.. got so many people gathering at home already..

As I saw my grandfather's face, it feels like he was just sleeping.. his face was so calm.. instead, he was like smiling.. * he used to have some difficulty sleeping before this as he had respiratory problem*.. maybe he's prepared for this..

The funeral was on Saturday,. it was raining heavily.. *it feels like the sky was mourning too*.. then, it was time for us, all the children and his grandchildren to pay him the last respect..

I admit , I don't really have a close relationship with him.. but when it comes to this.. I still feel the impact.. but anyhow, I'm glad that I did and able to take care of him although it was not much when he was sick..

 * Dear Lord, I pray that may his soul rest in peace.Forgive all the sins that he made, as we forgive him.. may we the family members that he left behind, be given the strength and courage to live our days without him. Amen*