Thursday, November 30, 2017

When Should I Quit My Job?

What should I write for today? I'm done with my patients for the morning and lunch break is like 2 hours away. Phew. Let me think....

Oh ok, got it. I've watched this video few months ago, shared it on FB as well.

This is a video by Peng Joon - When Should I Quit My Job?

Learn and grow, and you paycheck will grow. Really?

From this video:

Always place growth first and the paycheck second, only if you have the time.

Before leaving the company,ask yourself. Is this company challenging you? Are they constantly taking you outside of your comfort zone so that you can improve?

So, for me - since I've been feeling demotivated with my job recently, let me just do a quick assessment on myself.

My job, has been challenging me,taking me out of my comfort zone but not constantly. Previous post, I mentioned about how I got burn out with the routines. Good news is now, I tried to break it, changing it once in a while.

And, I've been telling myself - good things will come to those who wait patiently and be grateful.

When should I quit? Actually, it is time.  But,I have bills to pay. Quitting just like that is not a smart move. So, I'll wait.

If  you don't like where you are right now, just move. You're not a tree. Yes, I'm not one. Haha




Friday, November 3, 2017

Anty Sigu.

When I was a kid..
"Anty, buli ka tulis nama pakai huruf kecil?"
..... "Amu buli. Ngaran nopo nga mesti pakai huruf besar."

After mass brunch conversation..
"Nak, moi yato akan hilo Luyang la. Ih haro steambot b*bi."
......" Ba,buli bo. Hujung bulan la Anty. Gaji po. Hehe."

Last Monday as I dropped her to school..
"Nak, haro RM 100 nu ka? Poloso oku po da. Amu ku nakasampat minoi atm konihab. Saya mau  belanja tu budak sekolah."
......."Haro bo. Dapo kio."


And I never thought that Monday was my last conversation with you.

You have always been a good listener and very supportive in what ever things that I've shared with you. All these years, you have been fighting with your sickness, never even once showing us how weak you've felt inside.

I am still in shock. I'm writing these in tears. God loves you more and you are now in good hands.

Rest in peace Anty Sigu. I love you . You'll forever be missed.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Disappointment

I was in the church whatsapp group. So, somebody posted about that particular day readings and reflection. These words caught my eyes.

"Kalau kekecewaan kita kerana kita merasa dan sedar bahawa sikap dan perilaku kita tidak sesuai dengan apa yang diharapkan Allah, kita harus berjuang terus untuk memperbaiki diri kita. Kita harus kembali kepada Tuhan kerana Tuhan sendirilah yang mampu menguatkan kita untuk sampai kepada akhir perjuangan dan perjalanan hidup kita."

Translation:

If our disappointments is because we felt like our actions do not match with what God wants, we should fight to be a better version of our self.  We should come back to God because only He can strengthen us till the end of our life journey.

Sorry for the direct translation. Not that expert 'though.

Firstly, I'm not that religious or holier. Attending mass every Sunday doesn't make me one but I do accept Jesus as my savior; and this tiny faith of mine had kept me going for years.

I believe that each of us, I mean being Christian - we do face challenges in our faith, and it comes in different form.

 And,  this is the most faith- challenging year for me.

Honestly speaking, I've been disappointed with myself lately. I'm aware, that as human we'll sinned. We tried hard not to repeat the same mistake but yeah, it is not that easy as ABC. I know this is not right, but sometimes, I do wonder if God has really forgiven me or will He forgive me again if I kept on doing the same thing over and over.

Have mercy on me Lord. Amen



P/S: I tried writing this entry in Malay but to fail attempt. Conversing and writing is two different things ; Malay writing is not that easy but I'm not that expert in English as well. But it felt more humane and normal when expressing your inside stories in English. Haha! #siscubatau







Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Blessed beyond measure!

#happybuttons

I'm not lucky, you don't know how much I've prayed. 

Well, I second that. For what I am, and what I've been today, there will always be that inside story. 

Officially 28 and yes, my birthday spent well. 

Years before, I love the idea of  given something that I really want on my birthday - dress, airtime reload, mobile phone, cash money and etc. 

Now that I think of it (I need to, now as we have this birthday exchange gift) - I am clueless! I don't even have a wishlist. 

I guess, it's no longer about the material gift. I'm grateful and blessed beyond measure to be surrounded with good and genuine people - mainly my VIPs.

Presence, attention and time worth more than an Iphone. But, having presence + attention + time + Iphone at the same time - why not! Hehe



Sunday, September 24, 2017

Throwback Birthday

Hello 24th September!

When I was still a kid,birthday is something that I would always look forward to. Mainly because I get to eat cake and of course the birthday gift.

I don't really remember how I celebrated them all back then - but I'll try.

My first ever so called happening birthday party - when I was 12 years old. Why? Because, it was at Karamunsing's KFC (back then, KFC was only available in KK area).  Small part of KFC was closed for my party and we had games session before the cake cutting. I was so happy - mummy bought me a special attire for this, ordered a big Winnie The Pooh's cake and my friends gave me mostly Winnie The Pooh's gift. I still keep them with me.

My 13th birthday, I remembered getting a birthday wishes from almost everyone of my batch. Feeling over the moon although it was just a simple wish.

When I was 14, I wanted to stay awake till 12am. While waiting, I wanted to iron my school uniform. But, I was so damn sleepy. So,my dormmate offered to help me. Thanks,you!

On my 15th,16th and 17th birthday, Didie sent me a KFC meal along with a birthday card. I was deeply touched and ya, I cried while biting the chicken. Haha

18th birthday - BF on that time, sang me a birthday song. Sent it via Bluetooth a day before and asked me to only open it on the actual day. Haha

21st birthday - was in Genting Highland and had donuts as birthday cake. Thanks Geng Borneo UKM!

22nd birthday - was in Melaka for clinical posting. Birthday lunch treat from my fellow coursemate.

23rd birthday, my first ever surprised. Roommates aka coursemate surprised me with cupcakes.

24th on the 24th!

Enough with the throwback, I guess.

With each coming birthday, I felt the difference. I changed a lot.

But all in all, thank you Lord Jesus. I am grateful for your abundance blessing.

Happy 28th Birthday, dear self! 


Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Letting Go



The hardest part is when you need to let go something so dear to you.

Over the years September had always given me the positive vibes. Still is. But halfway of this month, another unexpected loved one left us. I knew all along that you were fighting hard with your illnesses, that I have faith in you -  you would come back strong.

Indeed, God knows better. You're in good hands now.

Rest in peace, uncle.


The Climb

"Not my first climb,but first time jadi tukang urus"- that was the caption of a photo that I posted on FB few days ago.

Yes, I went for my second climb to Aki Nabalu. This time, with my loved ones plus two newly-become friends.

Comparing the latest climb to my first, I enjoyed the latter one. Why is that? First and foremost, the group that I'm with -  my dad, brother, cousin and of course I had my so called personal guide Incik Tunang.

Secondly, the weather. Thank you Lord! The weather was fine. I thought that it was going to rain but it's not.

Thirdly, in terms of fitness. I trained regularly compared to the first climb and yup, it helps. I'm quite proud of myself that I was able to ascend and descend within the expected time. As in, I managed to reach on time for the buffet dinner (my motivation. Haha!) and descend before 4pm the next day.

Did I reach the summit this time? Haha
Did I? Well, that's a secret. XOXO (I'm a gossip girl fan,still)

Another adventure list checked for this year. For now, I've achieved my goal - to experience the summit trail of pre and post earthquake. I felt like, twice is enough but who knows in the near future, aite?

#fingerscossed