Friday, August 18, 2017


Ultimate desire.

For today gospel is among one of my favourite.

"So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together,let no one separate"

Matthew 19:6

Next year then, with God's willing. Amen

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Throwback #1

This was 5 years ago.

Wow. Thanks FB for this memory. I remembered feeling extremely happy when I got the result. Hard work paid off.

And here I am today, an Occupational Therapist - OT.

I may at times feel so burn out with my job but all in all, I'm glad and thankful to be an OT!

Looking forward to more adventures as an OT.  Hehe

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Childhood baggage

I saw this one TV ad about child abuse - that was like  20 years ago,maybe? All I remembered, I was still a kid back then.

It was a song, played with clips of picture about children get beaten up, scars everywhere, crying and a lot more. I remembered one clip, a weaken child, somehow on a folded mattress trying to reach out.

I saw this ad more than once and as weird as it may seem, there's this feeling that stays with me up till today, on and off. It was like, being stuck in something, trying to get out but can't. Just like the child in a folded mattress. At the same time, feeling breathless.

Come to think of it, I would have felt it after a not-so-good event. Just like today, I feel it again because of a last night story.

I guess,it's a baggage that I've been carrying all this while and it's not easy to get rid off.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Comfort zone or burn out?

wake up at 5 - ready for work - work, work, work - home - shower, dinner - tv  - sleep

This is my daily routine and honestly speaking, I'm getting exhausted with this train of events.

Been working here in *** for almost 3 years (if I were to count from the first day I came for duty). Working half day on Saturday, on call for every Sunday and public holidays and still, with no salary increment. Plus, the same old work routine almost everyday.

I am exhausted as well with these routines.


I wanted to lose weight or at least get the body shape that I've been dreaming of. I've imagined myself so into this exercise + diet thingy and voila, I finally own that body!

Reality is, I only go exercising like once or twice a week. During the weekend, I eat like a monster. I have the desire but I don't have the motivation. Uggghh

In terms of career development, I really want to try new OT areas and of course, the surroundings.  But being in private sector and I don't want to leave KK, the choices is quite limited. I'm still hoping to get into government sector but I can't be really depending on it, right?

I have a lot of things in my mind, I mean I would like to do and some of it,I did but halfway only . Phew.

Like joining mandarin class for two years but never really try to practise it ; enroll self into sewing class, bought the machine but still doesn't know how to sew with it ; went to piano class, bought a piano but stopped after I passed the grade 1 exam.

Well, it sounded like I'm merely complaining or dissatisfied with my life. Mind you, I'm not being ungrateful with what I have now, but I'm just a human and keeping it all inside, is so not me.

I'm more than blessed with these things now but there were times I thought of taking a break, the need to step out of my comfort zone.

But, I don't have that confidence nor courage to do both.

How la?

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Rainy May

It's raining outside

I don't remember May being the month of rainy season. I mean looking back from the previous years.

And now, it has been raining since Monday.

As odd as it may be, I somehow like the idea of rain but not the heavy one. A medium sized rain perhaps?

Personally, it is actually quite calming listening to the rain pouring outside. Back in uni, when it rained I'll cover myself in a blanket and slept the whole afternoon. Oh, how I missed those days!

Since I couldn't do that now,  let's just imagine then.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Chapter 5 of 2017

There were moments that I almost gave up on this inside story of mine. But to think back, of all the years that I've poured into this blog, I couldn't leave just like that.

So, I decided to stay and will try to blog every time I can.

As of today, a lot of things happened and mostly, it was unexpected. Be it a good one, nor bad, still it was indeed among the least to cross my mind.

And as of today..

I received a shocking news - uncle, whom is a family friend passed away last night.

I will soon, going to enter into another phase of life. Thank God.

I love flowers but the idea of caring for it make me think twice.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Self reminder - You can do it !

It has been like this since forever. We've always been scared of what people or the society are going to say.  We are like, trying to please them - indirectly saying.

Since I am naturally a so-called-coward person, doing something out of my routine or perhaps the unordinary is quite challenging for me.

I do want to make a lot of changes in my life.But, I don't know where to start.  I end up keeping my plans on hold aka procrastinating and slowly it fades away. Fuhh.

Early this morning, a good friend posted a video on Facebook. Thanks,by the way. It is indeed a self reminder that I need to step up and do more for a better me.

"If I have more, if I have less,doesn't matter. I worry about myself. The fact that you're worrying about other people's accomplishments is already a losing formula."