Thursday, April 28, 2011

I dunno what to do. =(

 current mode :
sedang berguling-guling di atas katil, blur2 dunno what to do + listening to Alyson Michalka - Someone to Fall Back On

A little recap on the song I'm listening into :

I am no prince,
I am no saint,
I am not anyone's wildest dreams,
But I will stand behind and be
Someone to fall back on..

You guys might be wondering why all the sudden I have so many entries in this very short time. haha~
Okey! let me tell ya!

I'm so free ( not free like 'free' - if you know what I mean). Actually, I don't know what to do; even though, I think there are so many stuffs can be done - watching movies, do some cleaning, sight seeing, eating, reading journals and so much more. SEE ?? so much right? but poor me, I 'm not really in the mood of doing that and I admit, I lose some appetite but still, with the same size.  *sigh*

main reasons behind : uncertain. =(

I miss home badly and wanted to be home A.S.A.P.
  • I just found out that my dear didie (aka my father) is sick. He was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy - temporary paralysis of facial muscles.
  • I don't wanna miss the 100th days prayer of my deceased grandpa.
  • I wanted to go and visit a friend.
  • Saya homesick. =(
So now, I really hope that my short sem, is much shorter and that my LI - Latihan Industri is in Sabah.

I wanted to seek and search for anyone available at the moment to have a chat with me, just so to distract me from my restless mind and thinking.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

my little dress

I was hanging around Sungei Wang a few days before, accompanying my friend buying stuffs for her family. We went to the Kid's Department and I spotted some few beautiful dresses. Then, it suddenly reminds me of myself when I was a little girl. ( not to mention, a cute one..haha!)

I'm the only girl in the family, I mean in my siblings  la. Just like any other mother in the world, my mummy loves to buy her only daughter all the beautiful, cute and pretty dresses just so to make me much cuter and prettier. haha! sindrom perasan suda melanda diri ini.

Since I'm so white  ( haha! ) putih la kenen, and small in size, compare to the other girls yang same age with me, my mummy would buy me those dresses red or yellow in color. My mummy said so that I look much whiter la. haha!

But then, it is the side effects of being the only girl in the family and surrounded by guys - I think. I soo don't like wearing gowns or dresses. I prefer wearing pants and shirts. So you see, all my dresses looks brand new because  I rarely wear them. In short, memang bole jual balik la.

I like pink color! yeay~

After that, my mummy pun jarang-jarang suda beli gown, because she knew, it would be a waste of money.  Saya memang tidak suka pakai gaun ba! hehe. *sorry mummy*

But then, after seeing "The Sound of Music"., (u guys should watch this movie!)  everything changes la. I fell in love with this movie, ended up in watching several times and still, at the age of 22, I had never get bored of watching the movie.
Actually, I didn't even remember this changes. My mummy told me the story way back then. After seeing the movie, I ended up addicted wearing dresses and gowns. I would wear them 24/7 ( mami saya cakap la.haha!)
That's just the inside story. Up till now, I'm still trying to develop the feeling of like-wearing-dress. haha!


Maybe. . we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. 

Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it,but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives. 

 Maybe .. . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past;after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy. 

Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. 

Maybe .. . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. 

Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives. 

Maybe . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone. 

Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more..

Maybe  giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours. 

Maybe .. . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go,
be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance 
to do all the things you dream of, and what you want to do. 

* thanks a lot to my dear friend, Nancy. I got this from you. Reading this, I feel that it is so much related to what I've been through lately.*

I don't even know where to start, nor what to say. hmm.. *sigh*

9 years already! phew~! time flies fast huh?.. it is.

A fairytale ending is everyone's dream of having a happy-ever-after-life. That includes me. But, there's a saying that, we can only plan, and God is the one who will decides.

Years after years, those fairytale that I wanted so much, went missing  just like that. I can't help but to grieve and felt so sorry for myself of being unable to experience such amazing moments. But then, there goes the saying that everything happens for a reason. When I look back at it, ya. It's true. God has his own special plan for each of us.

Earlier, I admit, I'm not so sure whether I've made the right decision or not. At one moment, I regret them so bad up to the stage that I'm willing to do what ever it takes to make things right. But. I guess, I'm too late and I have to live with that regrets.

Each moments passes and I grew stronger each day. Thanks to you Lord, my family and friends, who has always been there for me. I no longer feel the regrets and burden inside but ended up in feeling so grateful. In short, I'm living my life to the fullest.

.missing you 3.0..windyred.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Get well soon, Andy!

I was sleeping soundly early this morning, 23/4/2011 when I suddenly received a call from my schoolmate aka my best friend. Honestly, I felt a bit strange why he  call. I thought that he called just to have a chat with me or etc. I  act normally and even wish him "Happy Easter" ( since it's easter tomorrow). Hearing his voice, I can feel that something is not right. Then, with his calm voice, he told me that Andy was involved in an accident.

Upon hearing this, I was shocked actually. I'm totally speechless. I just don't know what to say or what is the right words to say on that very moment. Since both of us still don't know how's he doing, in my heart, I just hope that he is totally fine. I just hope that it was a minor accident.

But, after calling and asking some of my friends, I manage to know almost the real situation he's in. Early this morning, he had just been through a surgery (my friend said he had bleeding in his brain - traumatic brain injury I guess). He is still unconscious and now still in ICU.

I felt the impact -  up to the moment when I'm writing this entri, I can feel that my body's shaking for no reason as I'm not sick. I'm worried sick the whole day. I kept thinking about him and if I can, I felt like I just want to  fly back to Sabah now and  go see him. But, I can't.

Hey you, since I can't be there on this very moment, then all I can do is pray for you.

Dear Lord, bless my friend, Andy who is now in the hospital. Bless him Lord, that he'll be given the courage and strength to get through this critical time. Bless his family members God, that they'll be given the strength and courage too, in  facing this obstacle of yours. Amen.

Get well soon, Andy.

Friday, April 22, 2011

saya suda habis exam ba!

Joy of learning?? haha~! joy la kali... nasib saya teda itu macam la.. saya berjaya mengharungi study week saya dengan baik walaupun kan.. adalah certain2 time tu rasa mo muntah suda tengok nota.. tapi.. tapi la.. rambut saya menten cantik la.. (x macam tu gambar.haha~)

nah! habis suda exam saya. neh! jeles la kamu.. saya buli menari2 suda o.. haha~ ( tulung! bagus kalau)...
habis exam pun teda erti o. kalau cam sem2 lain.. laaaaaaaaaaaaaamaaaa suda saya balik pigi kampung halaman.. nasib la ada HE .klu tidak., saya balik seja.. huhu..=(

silence! orang lain mc ada exam lagi.
buli la saya buat konklusi pendek sini, subjek2 sem ini agak mencabar juga la.berat2 juga semua.ramai2 ba jam kredit dia. dush!~%$% :-S

macam saya suda mention di previous2 entri saya, saya ni memang teda, ulang suara, TEDA bakat melukis. kalau mewarna, saya buli terima lagi. tapi telampau la ba juga ada soalan suru mewarna kan. oh, maaf!. suda pula saya cerita ni kisah. ok, next ~~..

ok. ni paper peads la.yg medical punya part.haha. hancur! yang real fact pun buli jadi fake ba time menjawab. habes la. harap miracle ja la. soalan, sungguh unexpected. saya pun telah mendapat satu konklusi pendek la dari soalan2 itu. . "now I know why being a pedestrian is so much easier than a pediatrician". dalam erti kata lain, memang mencabar dan complicated la kisah2 peads ni walaupun sebenarnya interesting.

oh. it's the holy week. May you guys be shower with God's blessings. Amen.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

so called drama analysis.haha^^

Two more papers and then, 3rd year as OT student is over.. next academic session.. FINAL YEAR STUDENT.. *super-duper senior u.wah!*

On one fine afternoon, while I was having my lunch, I decided that - "mm.. best jg kn smbil2 makan, ada hiburan.".. so, the most lucky one being picked from my dear external is Secret Garden.

the main characters..^^

As you guys surely know, my pure intention.. is that.. to watch only the first episode as my entertainment during makan.. and the next episode, maybe after the exam finishes or be my positive reinforcement once I finish studying.

Sorry. I failed to do that. *sigh! winnie, wake up!! *

Seriously, I cannot not watch the drama till the last episode. The characters in the drama, somehow somewhere, attracted me. Yup, story line, not bad! ok la.. I admit la, the actor is good looking but anywhere, his attitude, characteristics in the drama - I like it, soooo like. ( fine! ejek la!).. wujudkah orang seperti itu di Sabah, mahupun Malaysia? aaah.. I wonder.!

Despite of this guy rough- kasar - arrogant maybe characteristics, but when it comes to someone he loves, he do cares a lot. That's what attracted me the most. He may not show them directly, but he has his own style of expressing his feelings. *plus, with the smile - extra credit la u!haha~*

It's a relief actually that I finally managed to finish all the episode. Now, I can peacefully and 100 % concentrate on my studies. but, inside, still feel like .. hmm ..  indescribable.. =)

Current mode :  Listening to the That Man - Secret Garden OST. Try listening to it.It feels good. =)

he's the guy!~haha.=)

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Thank God,.. I've done with two papers.. orthopedics and OT peads.. what a relief.. huh!.. 

* next paper : peads , o n m.. - running out the passion and desire to study for these two papers..dush3!*

Study group . it really helps actually.. all I remembered was the faces of my friend talking and explaining stuffs.. but the stuffs? not in mind.. haha! ( * sorry la kengkawan*)

Once again, prepared for the worst, then in the end, only the simple thing yang keluar.. I've expected that the ortho's questions would be the complicated case one.. e.g. tendon cut, fractures, nerve injury.. or any conditions considered complicated... skali tu keluar. CTS.. RA.. hahaha... *unexplainable thoughts running in my mind on that very moment *... but still, I managed to answer them.. not to say like saya minta puji la trip konfiden or what but at least, I've revised and studied all the questions.. so, no regrets la! ^^

OT peads! huh! first time dealing with this paper.. if the night before, I feel like wanna crack my head bang myself  on the wall.. actually feeling like wanting to explode la. I'm not sure what are the main reasons behind.. saturated with info?? naa~ I don't think so.. even though I admit that I do feel like want to spill out aka muntah. overstudy? I guess..  then, the exams was in the afternoon, a bit like hell in the mean time.. I guess, I just cant wait to just express everything out.. haha! feeling restless for a few hours.. 

Sleep on it!.. that's the thing I usually do when I'm not in the mood.. yah! I slept early last night..couldn't bare to see the notes.. huh!

the questions!haha! this time around, soalan2 OT peads sangat menguji kebolehan saya melukis.. I just hope that the examiner wouldnt laugh at my drawings.. I'm not even sure if it is still considered as a drawing.. haha!
I can't even master the art of drawing a simple normal person ( a simple one la.!), then how on earth you would expect me to draw a posture of a CP spastic children vs. a hypotonic Down Syndrome??? .. hell to the NO!.. but actually, after spending for about almost an hour for that kind of drawing, I managed to draw these two types la.. Thank God.. but surely, it is not gonna enter any drawing competition.. * I have no talent in this type of skill.. ~ hehe~*

Finish with these two papers, I now developed this syndrome perasan-habis-exam.! what a pity.. should I bang my head on the wall? ahahaha.. no, thank you. sorry..not my fault, I cant help it.hahah! but, I'll try keeping myself together to study for these two last papers. hope it worked!

laughing makes it better in times of feeling down and stress,. I've tried it and it worked!

Monday, April 11, 2011

middle of the night..^^

today as tonight, mark the day as the end of my so-called- peaceful study week.. tomorrow 12/4/2011, is my first final exam paper for this semester, which is orthopedics and surgery..

* Dear Lord, I pray that I'll be able to do the very best of my ability for this semester's exam. Amen. *

Here I am, in the middle of the night, still surfing ( instead of studying..~huh!) while everyone are struggling to the very end.. Actually, I've done with my readings + revisions + studies and I just need some air to clear things of my mind.. ( dear ortho's .. don't leave my tiny little brain during this process.. tq.. ^^)

Something seems not-really or feels- right recently .. I'm suggesting  this occur due to the exam mode..  firstly, my apology la if any of you guys are related.. nowadays, I mean recently, I tend to kacau2 orang.. searching for someone to have a chat with n etc la.. I'm sorry.. maybe I get bored with studying easily.. ( I, Winnie Irene, guilty as charge!.. haha~)

anyway, I'm off to bed for now.  wish me luck! 

Will you have  a  chat with me? p/s: you don't even know it's you I'm talking about.. ;-)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

cerita merepek saya.

hua2.. tutup buka mata.. mo hujung sem sda ba pla ni.. x lama lg.. sy mo final yr sda!. (duh!.. tua sda pla ni.. tp menten cumil la..).. skrg ni study wik sda.. limpas sda suma benda yg sy takut dr awal sem.. skrg mo fokus itu ekjem seja la.. *amen. semuga berjaya!*

sy rs2 study wik dis sem la sy rilek gila.. bukan mo trip minta puji or pandai.. tp sy rs rilek seja.. (bagus la ho.. spy x la stress sgt.. wpn kredit2 subjek sgt la byk!).. study semart seja la ho..

mcm besa la.. walau apa pun berlaku.. pembukaan pesbuk dan on9 harus la sentiasa dijalankan walaupun study wik.. jadi.. pada satu malam yg indah itu.. sy buka la google image.. tgk gmbar2 cinta hati lama sy.. aaron carter!.. sy la kipas susa mati dia suatu ketika dahulu.. semua album, poster, majalah  dia semua sy ada.. begitu la kekipasan kesusahan kematian sy sma  dia..  dia menten encem wo... hahhaa..

klu kluar p shopping mall. tahan hati seja melihat baju2 kn gantung ni tau.. ni blum masuk kasut2 yg bebaris d kedai tu.. klu la duit jatuh dr langit.. sy beli saja.. hahahaa.. (* c winnie mmg merepek sda ni.. tiba2 psl shopping*)

recent events yg berlaku pas posting.. mmg fully occupied la jadual .. kalah2 artis.. (kalah ka? perasan ja!).. monday tu.. ada open book test.. nex wednesday ada clinical viva.. belajar cm separuh mati. mo mengingat suma.. in short, im prepared for the worst la.. tapi.. on the exact day.. sy dpt case yg sgt simple sampai la sy jadi blur apa mo bt.. *sabo je la*.. hesh3.. but the Thx God,.. I managed to do them..
next friday dia.. pg johor.. berkhidmat masyarakat la knun.. amazing experience la.. i met this one cute boy.. dia mmg tersangat comel dgn pipi dia yg sgt chubby..  dia pekak n bisu.. at first knun. malu2 sm sy.. haha.. lama2.. melekat jg.. hahaha.. in short, dia comel.haha!

okey.back to study mode. amen.peace.!