Leap Year Proposal

According to an old Irish legend, or possibly history,  St Brigid struck a deal with St Patrick to allow women to propose - and not just the other way around - every four years.

Thanks to my foreigner colleague, he's the one telling me about this. In fact, all of us, the whole department.

Quite an interesting fact, right?

It was all started when this foreigner colleague of mine suddenly asking me whether  I'm going to propose my boyfie on this date. I was like, " Why, suddenly?". And ya, all the other department mate also went blur.

Then only my foreigner colleague realize that we had no clue at all - to what he's talking about. He started explaining and we end up google-ing it, just to find out that the tradition actually do exist.

My colleague was asking me that question earlier as because I am the prefect candidate to do it; given my age and that I'm in a relationship now.

Well, my answer is no - nope. I will not do it or even bring up the topic to my boyfie anymore. Not because woman are not suppose to propose or that is a guy task but for obvious reason, and yet a very personal one.

From this point ahead, you may think that I am indeed a selfish person, who only thinks of herself.

But, I have my reasons.

Guide me o Lord. Help me that I may find light in this dark feeling that I am experiencing now. Amen.

I pray for a stronger faith, Lord. To have faith in your timing.

June Edition

June 2014 - We've reached in the middle of the year. Thank God, thank you. Extremely grateful for every little blessings nor challenges that had happened in my  life.

Well, life is a bit busy. As always. Get back from work - tired - sleep . Phew. Nevertheless, thankful that I had a job. :)

Seriously, I missed being on inside story. I have a lot to tell but time forbids me so. Actually, I can if I really want to but being me, that extreme desire doesn't always come in hand. You see, I've learnt that almost everything is at the level of good enough. So, why bother of doing more if the current one is good enough? Haha. The positive and negative side of having that attitude.

Self conflict. Yeah, almost everybody been through that during their teen years. But, not me I guess. My teen years, well, to think back of it, it was a bit dull. Not to say that I wanted to do crime or what when I was 16, but I wish I could've step out of my comfort zone and explore new things.

So, in short, I don't have that self conflict or hormonal changes during my teen years. Hihi.

It may sound funny, but I'm actually experiencing it now. I feel like, I am having this self-conflict inside of me. After all this time, self conflict is finally occurring to me. Gosh.

I'm not quite sure how you guys may define a self conflict actually, but for me, my self conflict is actually, the feeling of inferiority and self doubt. Honestly saying, at times I feel myself so small comparing to others and I so feel like left out.

Not to say that I'm not being grateful for what I am now, but sometimes that feeling just came creeping inside. I wish I have the strength to tell myself that I'm not small or etc, but ya, I still choose to believe in my so irrational thought.

emotionally unstable

March - almost to its end. Saying hello to April  soon enough.

Frankly speaking, I am emotionally unstable. Now. For no reason. I mean the main reason behind all the unstable emotion. Phew*

I admit, I've got a lot of things running on my mind - some are even irrational and illogical. *sigh*

Not Sure?

Quite not sure why I keep thinking of you, mainly tonight. Phew.

I wanted to at least send you a message of saying "Hi, how are you?" but since your  current location forbid me to do so, I was kinda blur right now. Still guessing, whether is this some kind of petanda or etc. If it is really a petanda, then hopefully it's a good one-lah.