June 2014 - We've reached in the middle of the year. Thank God, thank you. Extremely grateful for every little blessings nor challenges that had happened in my life.
Well, life is a bit busy. As always. Get back from work - tired - sleep . Phew. Nevertheless, thankful that I had a job. :)
Seriously, I missed being on inside story. I have a lot to tell but time forbids me so. Actually, I can if I really want to but being me, that extreme desire doesn't always come in hand. You see, I've learnt that almost everything is at the level of good enough. So, why bother of doing more if the current one is good enough? Haha. The positive and negative side of having that attitude.
Self conflict. Yeah, almost everybody been through that during their teen years. But, not me I guess. My teen years, well, to think back of it, it was a bit dull. Not to say that I wanted to do crime or what when I was 16, but I wish I could've step out of my comfort zone and explore new things.
So, in short, I don't have that self conflict or hormonal changes during my teen years. Hihi.
It may sound funny, but I'm actually experiencing it now. I feel like, I am having this self-conflict inside of me. After all this time, self conflict is finally occurring to me. Gosh.
I'm not quite sure how you guys may define a self conflict actually, but for me, my self conflict is actually, the feeling of inferiority and self doubt. Honestly saying, at times I feel myself so small comparing to others and I so feel like left out.
Not to say that I'm not being grateful for what I am now, but sometimes that feeling just came creeping inside. I wish I have the strength to tell myself that I'm not small or etc, but ya, I still choose to believe in my so irrational thought.