I wonder.!

hmmm..???

a heart - waver

hello everyone! here I am again. Suddenly, in the mood of exposing the inside story episode for today .

*giggles*

Ever experience a heart-waver?

waver - undecided over something

root word is wave - sudden occurrence or increase in feelings or emotion

well, honestly saying, I myself did experience this. Okay, when I think back again, this heart-waver-situations happens almost frequently, aite?

It's like when you have decided something, suddenly feel like, "ooh... arghhh.." and bla.. bla.. bla..

heeee!

but for this episode, the heart-waver situation is a little bit different. (okay, think hard! haha!)

I'm currently in a so-called-Alice Wonderland world which my head is full with "What if " thoughts..

What if suddenly my heart, wave for this something ... ? hmm.

random-lah sangat!

I finally got the answer after a long wait! phew! frankly saying, I was mad + frustrated once I knew it. So, don't blame me if I act a little bit differently than before. But, worry not, I'll get  over it soon enough. Eh, I already did! hehe! I just thought that it may be easier and much better if things were told directly to me. terus terang seja la, kan?

okay, enough with that! 

It's been two months already, doing my clinical posting. Yeay! another 3 more weeks to go! Yippee! I am soooo looking forward to the end of posting.

It's not that I don't enjoy doing my clinical placement, it's just that , I miss waking up late in the morning. ohemjih!. hohoho. Two days weekend seems not enough for me to wake up late. haha!

2011 has almost come to its end and frankly saying right now, I sooo miss my home town, and of course my loved ones back there. = (

happy weekend everyone! have a good one.! :)

hidden dream

It's 11.54 pm - according to my lappy's clock. I'm still not sleepy but not in the mood to continue doing any academic stuffs. phew!~

*I bet you guys should be wondering why am I so damn free scribbling on my inside story wall , aite? - I'm on a 1 week unexpected holidays, yeay!*

Well, my story of hidden dream started like this : - jadilah beruang bersama saya @ pls bear with me.hoho!-

I don't have that superb + amazing + powerful  voice like Charice or Siti Nurhaliza but I can and love singing.! I used to represent my school few years back and unexpectedly, I won. ohemjih! Thanks Lord and to all who supported me back then.

I can spend hours and hours of singing (in a karaoke box! hoho) and not get tired with it. For you guys who did ever join me or I join you guys for karaoke, you should know then. :)

I don't really have a specific genre or type of songs that I like or loves to listen to. It's more like a chemistry actually - falling in love at the first sight; First time hearing then falling for it.

Once I fall for it, I'd go and search for this song ( download or etc) and play it over and over again until I hafal  already the lyric. gosh! :)

One thing special is that, whenever I listen to songs especially  from Geisha (Indonesian band) and Taylor Swift - I'd imagine myself on stage, singing live with the band behind me. Awesome kann??? hohoho.

So, the hidden dream here is that, I pictured myself singing in a band. Lead singer la konon. hoho!

I don't know how to play guitar, but I'm interested to learn. But, not sure if I still got the time to do that. huh!

So, anyone of you guys interested to form a band with me? hoho!

Selena Gomez and The Scene : gambar adalah hiasan semata-mata.hoho:)

The Journey Alone.!

Saya memang suda laaaaaamaaaa ni mo pigi tingu wayang. Tapi, ada saja aral melintang. Fuhh!~

Then, one of my friend ni, dia cakap " pigi tingu real steel". siok o. ni la 1st time saya bla bla bla... ". begitu la yang si kawan tu bilang.

Jadi, saya pun apa lagi kan. Plan la ni mo pigi tingu itu muvie sama housemate.Sekali kunun, suda pula dorang pigi tingu time Friday punya break (kan Friday punya lunch break lama sikit). Jadi saya pun kempunan la menonton ini muvie.

Itu yang 2 weeks before la. Desire mo tingu muvie masi kuat ni. Tapi, teda kawan mo p tingu and teda masa. *kunun la*

So, ini hari, since saya free and blur2 ( will be continued for the whole week. duh!) saya pun cuci2 mata la web GSC. nah.! ko tingu. ko tingu apa saya nampak!

ni la muvie 1st yang saya tingu secara solo!:)

Ini la yang saya nampak. Search la dulu kunun ni di GSC. ala, suma petang or malam. X la mau kalau lambat sangat kan. Saya pun search di TGV. Adaaaaaaa! Jam 12.10 punya show. Time saya tingu ni jam 10.49 am. Apa lagi, belari2 la ni kc siap2 diri + lunch siap2 dari rumah.

Mula2 tu plan la macam ni. lepas siap tingu ni muvie, lari pigi TS la. sambung tingu Real Steel. Skali tingu, mana kan ada begitu, x larat sd meningu another muvie. Apa kan lagi kalau solo2 + lowong2 kan. hoho. Tp ada juga la pigi TS. Mo mencari wedges kunu,tapi teda yang menarik hati. *aiseh!*

Ni muvie comedy. Walaupun, tidak banyak saya ketawa2, tapi saya enjoy la tingu ni muvie. Sweet la ni Chris Evans. Yeah! Mo kasi jadi buipren suda dia ni. hoho.!

ni la c Chris Evans. Chhooooooomeeel kannn! plus encem.! hohoho.

Uish. Kalau ada yang mo pigi tingu lagi , saya maaaaauuuuu ja pigi tingu. 2nd round pun buli.!

*happy mode*

Sun - Day!!

oh, it's Sunday! hoho. FYI, I went aerobic this morning. awesome feeling! let's do that again next week. heee~

went through a friend's tumblr and get inspired by those pictures. So , let me share some of them here .

enjoy! ;)

confession of a broken heart. *erk??*

I used to be fond of Lindsay Lohan and to be honest with you guys, deep down inside, I still do. *laugh*

Confession of a broken heart is one of her songs actually.  I miss listening to her! ( I bought her first album and I have no idea where did I put it. hmm~)

Actually, I have no idea what to write on this entri. I just feel the urge to spill out some things which I still haven't figured out yet.

Okay, done thinking! :)

After series of  'neglect' incidents, I tend to not put hope nor high expectation on something. I know, it sounded weird and lame but it's just like a protective / defensive mechanism I have. In short, afraid of the outcomes.

I've been through those moments when I put my hope so much but it turns out to be not the way I wanted - it hurts and take some times for me to move on. I kinda, feeling tired and to be exact, not to expect again because I don't want to go through the same old path again.

But I did once again. This time, not that bad compare to the previous incidents ( previous incidents - still hurt a bit but it's okay). Plus, I've prepared myself a bit. :)

It's a little bit different this time. At first I wasn't expecting anything, but from my point of view, this so-called -thing always gives a positive response, so I was like maybe, I could count on this one. But, no. It's been a year and nothing changes. I always thought that there was something special, but it isn't. It's frustrating actually. I've been dropping so many hints and yet still left hanging.

I am done waiting. I have done enough. I will no longer held up my expectation for you, so-called-thing. Dear Lord, give me courage and stronger heart to deal with this. Amen.