You guys might be wondering , why the title. Well, come with me, I'll explain them to you.
Before I go further, let me start with the things that makes me worried, frustrated and sad to almost- death.
Listing them down according to priority.
1/ residential college application ( wants to move out from the one I'm in now)
2/ thesis proposal ( draft : 19/9/11 , presentation : 22/9/11)
3/clinical posting ( starting this 26/9/11 and till the next 3 months)
Me and my friends been asking and calling the office several times, and met with the person in charge. But still, the exact timing of the result coming out is unknown.
I'm extremely and damn tired already being a nomad. Going here and there, always carrying two heavy bags. huhu. :(
Makes it worse, we've got to send our proposal draft this monday, which I haven't started yet. Doing this require internet connection. Need to search for journals and articles kan. But, then, our current residential college sekarang, no internet connection. So, need to nomad to K1, for free internet connection.
Thank God, I've got my clinical placement nearby. But still, I need to study and prepare myself before going posting. But, all my stuffs and books still in K1. With this nomad lifestyle, there's no way I can carry books around and be able to read them.
okie, that's the surface. Now, let me explain the real thing about the title.
It's normal that whenever we feel down, stress, frustrated or even happy, we tend to share them with our friends or loved ones. Well, same goes for me, with all the things happen in such a short time, I tend to go and talk and share with my friends. To be exact - girl friends.
Yesterday, after meeting the person in charged and knowing about the result that still unsure yet, I suddenly felt so hopeless, speechless and don't know what to do and even think. I felt like crying but the tears won't come out. I think you guys know what it feels like, you wanted to cry but can't, and all stuck up in your chest.
I suddenly feel the urge to spill out what I felt inside to a person. But not just a random person. And of course, not a girl friends.
Because you see, I've shared everything to my girl friends here ( who's having the same problem) and now, I wanted to search for someone out of the circles I'm in now. ( circles - yang bukan org UKM)
Frankly speaking, I wanted to talk to a boy. I don't know if you realize this, but talking to a boy and girl about the same matter is soo different. Not that I wanted to discriminate either one, but at one time, you'll need to talk to them - boys.
At this point of frustration and sadness, all I want is to turn to that someone ( which I don't know who, in my case. For others, maybe their boyfriend), I just want to talk and share what I've been through and felt to him. I don't care if he won't say anything but the very least he can do is listen to me. And it would be an advantage , if he offers words of encouragement and support or saying "It's okay, everything will be fine".
A "no - no" if he says the other way round, meaning like, " I told you so " or etc. Those short phrases may hurt a lot especially when it comes to this special person talking.
See, the power that this special person holds on you. It's either a he or she, they can destroy you or makes you the happiest person in the world in just a second!
I don't have that special someone or boyfriend at the moment. So, I don't know who to turn to. Somehow, at this point, I felt so pity for myself. Not that , my previous bf symptoms is back but I just wish that I have the special person to turn to at times like this.
I start scrolling for my phone contacts but I don't know who is that person that I wanted to talk too.
At last, I sms my bff - a boy. But after a few messages, he went missing. : ( This the other thing that I soo don't like. Another down moment here.
I did try sms another one ( this one is not a bff,kinda have a crush on him a bit. hoho). But he went missing even before I started to spill out things. I tried again, sms-ing him at night, and that if he free, I wanted to just have a chat with him, but once again I was ignored.
damn frustrated again. :(
Thanks to my roomies, after doing a little bit of silly things, I felt much better.
Later at night, the boy- bff that went missing at the day called me. Thanks,you! It was a relief to be able to have a chat with you. Thanks for making me laugh. At ones, I felt the burden became less heavier. Thanks kawan.
pls end soon. this frustrated things. Amen.