Sunday, June 8, 2014


 Source : Google image.
June. School holidays. Wedding seasons.

Been to  a cousin's wedding mass last Friday. Although, I've been to so many wedding masses before, there will always be that feeling of - " Wow, she or he is getting married".

The very-almost-same feeling I experienced once I entered the church that Friday. It was a mixed feeling - happy, mesmerized, wonderful, great and so much more. 

Life-Calling. This was one of the topic that caught me when the Father was giving his homily.

In life, there are  three callings - Single, Single and Religious, Married. All these three callings are good. 

These days, we tend to follow and expected to follow the norms around us.

At the age of 25++, you already have a stable job and  you are engaged to be married. That's the norm.
But the truth is, not all of us have that very same kind life stage. That includes me. I don't have a stable job yet and even far from getting married.

So, at one point, being a youth, somehow somewhere there is a time that you feel so left out and you wanted the same life stage happening in your life. That is also the time where you end up making a rush and soon to be regretful decision in your life. 

Just because your bff is getting married at the age of 25, doesn't mean that you have to get married on that very same age. Phew, blame the peer pressure I guess.

Well, as the Father was saying, all you need to do is pray for your life callings. Ask guidance from God. Define what you real life calling are and follow it. 

I, for once never have thought of that. Praying for my life calling. I've always thought that I will soon get married, and have a family of my own. But this homily, open up my eyes and to be exact my heart. To pray to God on what my real life callings are.

Till then, take care. 

Monday, June 2, 2014

June Edition

June 2014 - We've reached in the middle of the year. Thank God, thank you. Extremely grateful for every little blessings nor challenges that had happened in my  life.

Well, life is a bit busy. As always. Get back from work - tired - sleep . Phew. Nevertheless, thankful that I had a job. :)

Seriously, I missed being on inside story. I have a lot to tell but time forbids me so. Actually, I can if I really want to but being me, that extreme desire doesn't always come in hand. You see, I've learnt that almost everything is at the level of good enough. So, why bother of doing more if the current one is good enough? Haha. The positive and negative side of having that attitude.

Self conflict. Yeah, almost everybody been through that during their teen years. But, not me I guess. My teen years, well, to think back of it, it was a bit dull. Not to say that I wanted to do crime or what when I was 16, but I wish I could've step out of my comfort zone and explore new things.

So, in short, I don't have that self conflict or hormonal changes during my teen years. Hihi.

It may sound funny, but I'm actually experiencing it now. I feel like, I am having this self-conflict inside of me. After all this time, self conflict is finally occurring to me. Gosh.

I'm not quite sure how you guys may define a self conflict actually, but for me, my self conflict is actually, the feeling of inferiority and self doubt. Honestly saying, at times I feel myself so small comparing to others and I so feel like left out.

Not to say that I'm not being grateful for what I am now, but sometimes that feeling just came creeping inside. I wish I have the strength to tell myself that I'm not small or etc, but ya, I still choose to believe in my so irrational thought.