2019 inside story

This is truly once in a year thingy! 😁
Only get to blog almost at the end of the year and try to sum up everything.

But only manage to complete it by today, early January.

Let's start then!

January

Finding out I'm positive, so here came the morning sickness phase - loss appetite, nausea, dizzy and all that related. Instead of gaining weight, I lose them. Phew

Planned since last year but only manage to do it this month. ABC thanksgiving as 3 of us got married last year - me,Kiko and Lison.

JMC Annual Dinner - first time did a short musical drama performance. Haha. First time as well hire MUA but because of that, I missed like half of the dinner. Hmm


February

Entering 2nd trimester and gone all the morning sicknesses. Yeahhhh. Appetite increased a lot. I crave a lot as well - SR chocolate indulgence, travelling and sweet food. Haha

Aneys my Sumandaks has given birth to a baby boy. Visited her at Hospital Tuaran and seeing the surrounding there, I felt like want to deliver there as well. So peaceful.

March

Don't know why but this period, Easter loves to BBQ. Almost every weekend. Perhaps, that is his craving ? Haha

3rd antenatal review. Knowing that I have cyst in me, scares me. If it grows bigger and twisted, I'd be in great pain and that I need to deliver my baby through Caesar.

April

Still with the weekly BBQ. Haha. And one day in advance birthday celebration for Easter. Since he also suddenly crave for cheese cake (which he doesn't eat sweet thing actually).. so this was his birthday cake. Crepe cake from Cafe De Vie.

Took a long weekend AL. Planned to go Kundasang for a short vacation before deliver but no,vacation -ing  at home only.

Easter's accident on Easter night. Thank God he's okay although the car was not.

May

Gracy's dad passed away.

I dropped my Lenovo phone and it broken into pieces, the back one. Luckily, I did save a bit for a new phone. Not huawei, like I wanted to but better than nothing. Right?

Went to Big Bad Wolf. I sooo like it there, seeing the books. But, quite frustrated a bit as I didn't get to see my favourite author.

Simple birthday celebration for Mom.

Mom and Ronn to Philippine. Stay back at home then.

June

It's Raya and I suddenly crave for lemang. Haha, searched the whole Tuaran for it but everyone was off for the celebration. Finally, found it at KKIP. All the lemangs were fully booked but seeing my physical condition, the seller just gave me one. I mean, he sell it to me. 😉

Celebrating Father's day without the Wakau fathers. So, we just went to Odu Muilan and borrowed their father. Haha

A not so surprise baby shower by my colleagues. But still, thank you guys!

July

Slowly shopping for baby stuff as I'm in my 3rd trimester already. Time flies so fast.

Happy + nervous + worried

Still deciding where to deliver - JMC or HWKKS. Hihi.

Final course before on long leave - stroke workshop.

August

Hello Ashley Faith! Born on the 5th at 4.34 am, 2.72 kg.

Thank you Lord. Perhaps another blog for that delivery journey? Hehe

1st wedding anniversary!

August was a great month! Thank you Lord!

September

On going confinement period. Probably because I read too many post by Prof  Imelda, my confinement was not that strict as I've read and heard from people. I just ate whatever I want, wash my hair and not that compliant with the socks wearing.

Full moon Party for Ashley Faith. My first time hiring candy table deco. The perks of having a daughter I guess, I felt like trying this kind of stuff.

30 this year. I may not have everything that I wanted in life but I'm blessed beyond measure.

I think,I need to rethink again - the decision of being a housewife. I don't know why but frankly speaking, I do felt bored during my confinement. Probably because I delivered normal and I heal faster ?

The next day after the full moon party,  I went to church.  The following week, I attended my cousin's wedding.. and once in awhile, went out for laundry.

I upgraded myself; as in I joined Izliyah Kitchen team as agent. New commitment but surely it will be worth it.

Piano SOLD. Deep down, I don't want to. I thought of letting Fay to learn music as well but for now, need to let it go.

October

Back to work and missing Fay badly. I constantly ask mom or Easter to send me her picture.

I thought that I could chill in my first week of work but no. Splint cases, stroke workshop. Phew.


November

Still with my ongoing business. If you asked me,how much do I earn from this.. well, in term of money, not much yet. But, skills - a lot. I learned how to do marketing, approaching people, listening and watching motivational videos, and making a connection.

Biyuk got engaged! Our first time attending such engagement party as it's a mix culture.

Fay's Christening. We are sharing the same godmother, which is Anty B. Thank you Lord

Terry and Azmi's wedding. Finally. As usual, we the sumandaks as her bridesmaid. Fortunately, the tailor managed to do my dress on time but that was after I told her my white lies. Haha

December

Hectic month for me.

Starting off December with ABC gathering.

The next day flew to KL for a day trip. Short hand course. Well, I considered it a day. Flew from KK on Monday evening and back to KK on Tuesday night. Didn't even got a chance to window shopping. Haha

Back from KL, the following day in charge of JMC Christmas Party. Being the organizer, you didn't even get to eat the food buffet. By the time you want to go and eat, all gone. Taapun.

Thankfully, big boss belanjalah! Hehe

Month with full of gatherings and gift exchange.

Sumandak and Ekon gathering first time held outdoor. It was awesome.

JMC and last minute plan of UKM gathering at Upperstar Damai.I  finally got my hand mixer after putting it in my wishlist consecutively for  2 years. Hehe

Fay's first Christmas and she got a lot of present. I wish I can be kid again so that I got that gifts. Haha. Thanks to you, Fay has sufficient supply of #OOTD to wear.

Ranau for Pidil's wedding despite some issue behind it.

This year, I took a Christmas + new year leave. Got to spend my time with Fay and let her grandma take leave as well. Haha

New year eve celebration - biasher2 saja. Small last minute gathering with loved ones and got to see people's fireworks. Tumpang sekaki la katakan. Hahaha.


To sum up 2019.

I'm grateful being surrounded by supportive, caring and kind people.

Still with my job and financial issue but hopefully 2020 would be better.

2018 inside story

I last blogged on my September's birthday and now, few more days before 2019.

Blame the newly married status (I guess. Haha!) that makes forget about this inside story of mine. But, worry not. I shall do a monthly quick recap for this 2018.

January  

Entering 2018 with no new year resolution since I've always failed to achieve it. Haha. 

But starting this month, I enrolled myself into this BTP - Body Transformation Program lasting for 5 weeks. I consider it as something that out of my comfort zone because during that 5 weeks duration, I need to be in control of my diet and exercise routine; in order for me to not simply give away my RM5 if I were to gain fat. 

Stepping on Gear 2 for the wedding preparation - choosing caterers, deco, theme. 

A sudden interest in applying for Interim. Haha

Losing baby Divine.

February

I decided to continue with BTP. It makes me feel great about myself. I got to make new friends, learnt new exercise routine and most importantly, challenged myself to reduce sugar intake in my everyday diet.

Done with my pre wedding photo shoot. It was tiring but I really enjoyed it; initially, was a bit shy to pose romantically in public but we need too then. Haha.

Done with marriage interview as well. I was so damn nervous but thankfully,it was so okay!  Wedding date is confirmed then!

My second time going for PERKESO interview but for a different position. I was quite shocked to see so many candidates went for this interview - 100++. Group interview was done according to alphabetical order. And being me, I bet you could guess when was my turn. Came 7.30am in the morning and only get to be interviewed at 6.30pm in the evening. Phew.

March

Final month for BTP. Decided to stop for a while - couldn't stand the anxiety attack every Friday (because that's the weigh in day! Haha)

Starting off Sumandak's wedding for this year was Zalia. Hehe. As usual, we' re on duty as bridesmaid.

April

Wedding preparation on going - surveying and buying bridesmaid attire, flowers, meet up with wedding planner.

Heroes Run. Joined just for fun and yeah, it was fun. Hehe

Next Sumandak's wedding- Aneys!

May

Malaysia's 14th General Election - a whole new page for Malaysia. For the first time ever, after 60 years - new government are formed.

1 year anniversary of being engaged and 3 months away before the wedding!

Wedding preparation on going - 70%

June

Missed blogging my inside story on June. Blame it on the busy - ness of getting married. Haha

I went to SPA interview, hoping that I would get in this time.But still. Huhu

Kuching Trip during Raya holidays. I assume it as a bridal shower kind of event. Haha. It was a spontaneous radu trip.

July

1 month to go before my big day. Awww!

This month was more about final meet up with vendor. Me feeling stress? Hmm. Not really, I guess. Haha.

110718 - legally married!

Kiko' s wedding 2 weeks prior to mine.

I was having issue with my leave for the wedding. Admin wouldn't let me go if I couldn't find locum OT.

This part - it did make me feel upset. I couldn't plan for any honeymoon activity. And fiance on that time was not that keen to go away using planes. Phew.

August

110818 - I'm officially married to Easter! Thank you Lord. No wedding is perfect but let bygones be bygones then.

I got my 1 week leave post wedding. A bit too late already to buy air tickets. So, we decided to just do road trip. Ranau to Kudat.

September

Favourite month aka birthday month! And as usual, with lots of public holiday.

Went to Ranau twice this month, to visit Anty Lucy and ABC annual getaway.

Birthday dinner at pizza and I got a watch!

Another job interview, which I didn't expect that I would be called for it.

October

I got the job, was hesitating. I asked around and did my pros and cons for both company. I made up my mind and plan to resign even though I felt so heavy-hearted.

But, miracle happened I guess. I stayed and turned down the job offer. Hihi

November

Sudden desire to join baking class, with Ronn. We really enjoyed it but up till now, we still haven't try it at home.

Another sudden move - attending OT Zura classroom. The course was very helpful and beneficial to me.

KAS gathering. Great!

December

Final chapter of 2018 and my weekend was fully occupied.

2 Sumandaks wedding, Fenny and Neavi with just 1 week gap. Honestly, my initial plan was to only go to 1 wedding (annual leave issue). 

At last, I managed to go both! And I don't regret it.

Gathering and gathering - Sumandaks, Ekon Family.

I found out I'm positive! Thank you Lord. Still in shock and I didn't expect it. Haha. I went for my first Dr visit and yeah, he confirmed it. Hihi. Because I suddenly have this feelings like, "what if, the test was wrong?" Haha. Journey shall start now.

Christmas this year, I'm glad that I'm able  to attend mass with le husband. Both mass. Hehe

It is the last day of 2018 today, and I'm inside story-ing  this at work. Just like previous years, I'm working on this day. I'm still not sure what my plan are tonight, but I will surely slot in the sleeping part. Haha

So, yeah. Off for now!

Final 20s

UPSR season now, and  it reminded me of something during my time.

Exam seat was arranged in alphabetical order. So, you can guess how it was for me. Being almost at the end of the alphabets, I was put on the other class - separated from my bff on that time.

(Back then,we didn't have hall in the school. Exams was done in classroom that could only accommodate about 25-30 people and my class on that time had 45-50 students)

I was upset and slightly angry to my parents, on why they name me W. Haha! One of those silly reasons to get mad at your parents, kan?

Fast forward today,I realized it is more fun being at the end of the alphabets. Like,when I need to check my name in a list - I directly flip over to the last page and voila! I found my name. Easy.Hehe

Thank you Lord. I'm grateful indeed to have them as my parents and I thanked them for raising me up to what I am today.

********

I reread all the things that I shared in this inside story of mine - on this particular date. I can see myself growing and progressing from a so-called-teenager-minded into a grown up woman. Hope so.#fingerscrossedw

I seem to be wishing the same old thing annualy - to be a better me.

But this one caught me, 2015's wishlist. I did found what my life calling is  ; because this year, birthday is celebrated with my other half. Yeah!

Thank you Lord! You are awesome!

Less procrastinate. More time with God, loved ones and me.

Throwback #4

Hello September! As always, my favourite month.

Recently, my FB newsfeed and Whatsapp status was full with pictures and stories about new students intake, registration, welcoming students and  tips during orientation week.

So, upon seeing this - I automatically had flashbacks of how my early days in Uni.

UKM was my first choice of university but Occupational Therapy OT (my course)  was not. It was my 6th option among the 8.

Obviously, you could guess how I felt deep inside back then when I got this course.
("Huh, kos apaini?" ... " nanti habis mo kerja apa?".." kenapa saya x dapat  farmasi"..." saya jauh suda dari ruma"..." ada ka kawan saya nanti?") 

And the list goes on..

Upon receiving the letter and 80% still in denial, me and my mom went to the nearest cybercafe and tried to search more info about this course in UKM site. Sadly, on that time the information given was so general and not helpful at all ; leaving me more stressful. But the funny thing was, it didn't come up to me,to try and Google or Yahoo it.  Buduh juga la bila ingat balik sekarang. Haha!

The registration day.

My parents sent me off. I was indeed grateful as they were willing to come eventhough it was a last minute one.

Registration process was all okay. I managed to get through it even though deep inside  I felt so bad, ugly. The hardest part was saying goodbye to my parents. Saya tenangis juga la skit walaupun suda berabis tahan. Sakit dada eh. Mau cuba la  ba kunun trip2 ok, tapi x juga. 

Orientation week

The first few days was not ok, it was hell,  buruk betul rasa dia. I cried almost every night to sleep which I bet my roommate heard it (hehe!), I was tired and I still haven't found any Sabahan friend. I mean, yang ada kawan mau becakap sabah gitu. X la rasa alone sangat.

Nearing the end of orientation, I found my Borneo friends. I felt much better although I'm still tired from all the berlari berdua-dua going to the bus, duduk bertiga dalam bas, talks and talks, finishing late at night but waking up early.

Well, I could say that my orientation week was not something that I would happily remember although some of it, was enjoyable and I did have fun. But, yeah. Not all.

I do have a lot more to share but I'll stop for now. Hehe.

I don't regret getting into UKM, in fact, I'm proud to be one of the graduates.

So, for the new intakes - all the best!

#ukmdihatiku

110818

180818 - " Cantik ni haribulan. Kita kawin time ni la." 

That was last year, when we were picking date for the wedding.

And yeah, that 180818 was indeed a hot date. So many people get married, engaged and I guess gave birth as well? I mean purposely gave birth on that particular date. Hoping that you'll get what I meant by purposely. Haha

Well as for me, us - we decided that we'd take another date. That is 110818. So, I've been married for almost 2 weeks now. Thank God, with months of planning and surveying - all was sum up in just a day.

Surely, us girls or women would have our own dream wedding.

So, my last 2 weeks wedding was about 90% of my dream wedding. Of course, there were some issues but let bygones be bygones then.

Selamat kawin suda juga pun. Hehe

I thanked You Lord Jesus.  For your blessings and guidance.
Family and friends for the love and support on us both.
And everyone for making  110818 a memorable one.

Cheers to a new journey ahead!

Have you?

Have you?

I saw this on FB early this year. Saved it with the thought in mind that, I would blog it.

And here  I am, it's July already. Seems like I still procrastinate.

****** 

It's probably because how I was raised ( I think so), I'm not that type of person who will eagerly try new things especially when it's risky and prefer to be in my own nest - comfort zone.

So, when I saw this statement - it kind of spark a little bit of my curiosity + willingness to try out things that I've never think of before.

Apply for that job

I have on and off issue with my job. Still is now, but tone down a bit as I'm more focused on the wedding. Hehe. Although I really wanted a new job,  whether OT related or not -  I still can't get myself to really go and seek for it. I was like, "Ok,tiapa. Nantilah." I tend to complain but never really have the effort to change it.  Phew

So this year. I applied for the job that I wanted and have been waiting for quite some time. When I was asked, are you willing to be posted to places outside Sabah - I said yes!

Date that person

I didn't just date that person, I married him (civil) and in few weeks time for the church blessings. Hehe. That person as in someone that I have never imagined I would be with. Why?  Because he is the opposite of all the things that I would've always want in a guy.

I am indeed grateful to have known him and be part of him.

Buy that plane ticket

I would love to travel but my bank account doesn't allow me to. Haha. I guess, I was lucky enough this year that suddenly Anty B bought tickets to Kuching on Raya holidays. So, I get to save up for the trip. And yeah, the trip was great - we did things that scare us. 

Move to that city

Not really fond of this one. I've lived few years away from my loved ones and I hope that I would never got to do this again.

#fingerscrossed

****

Well,there are more than these 4 things. For me, I still have a lot more that I'm scared of but I need to confront it somehow. We are not a tree, so let's move and be a better version of ourself. It will be worth it.

Yes or No ?

Earlier this week, I got a text from someone saying :

"Shallom sis. Bole tolong jadi pemazmur untuk anak saya kawin 2hb ni?"

Deep inside:

"Bole. Bole sangat. Bole jadi pemazmur".

Sadly, I didn't get to reply that. Instead :

"Nanti saya kasi confirm balik ar. X sure dapat cuti ka x.

The next day after asking my boss about it, and this was my response :

" Sorry anty. Saya tidak dapat jadi pemazmur. Saya tidak dapat cuti"

Phew.

This may look like a simple situations in our daily life but being me, this is quite difficult. Why being me ? Because, it's hard for me to say NO. I don't want to turn them down.

Like Aunty B would say - slave of affection. Tidak mau kasi sakit hati orang lain.

Here in JMC, staffs need to apply leave 2 weeks prior to the date; except for emergency cases. But I did try asking my boss, just in case if I still can. Unfortunately, nope. Plus, I don't have that much leave left for my wedding.

With heavy heart, I need to say no. The after effect - I felt guilty.

I bet we all have been through situation that makes us feel torn or caught in between. But, in the end we need to decide what's best even though it may affect us.

Taken from my Tumblr acc.